Healing Hands, Healing Hearts
by Missyjem
Summary: This is set two years post LTIH Series 3 and gently introduces a new woman into Caroline's life.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

 ** _A/N - Like most other readers here, I hated the loss of Kate from LTIH and hence have enjoyed reading the many fanfics that have seen Caroline and Kate's relationship live on in various guises. But I kept thinking of Caroline and how she is so on her own at the end of series 3 and hence decided that I needed to create a new life for her. As much for me as for her! She is far too lovely to be on her own! This is my first and probably only fanfic. I hope you enjoy. Normal disclaimers apply._**

Four o'clock Friday afternoon and Caroline breathed a deep sigh of relief as she closed the file on the final set of budget papers that she needed to review before the governors' meeting on Monday. Standing up from her desk, she looked out of her office window to the school's playing fields below and watched as a few groups of students lingered, chatting before making their respective ways home for the weekend.

Moving her head from side to side in an attempt to relieve the stiffness in her neck and shoulders, she thought back over the week. It had been a long and difficult one and, upon reflection, she was surprised and slightly proud of herself that she had managed to get through it as well as she had. The hardest day had been Tuesday – the second anniversary of Kate's passing. A day which she knew was always going to be a trial but also a day which needed to be celebrated as it marked the arrival of wonderful little Flora.

Last year, she had not been able to cope with much in the way of birthday celebrations for Flora, and hence there had only been a quiet gathering at home with just William and Lawrence, Celia and Alan, and of course Greg. But this year, with Flora now a bubbly two year old and well aware of what birthdays were, Caroline knew that she had to put Flora first and allow her to enjoy her special day like any other youngster. She had, as a result, arranged a small party on the Sunday afternoon and invited the family plus four of Flora's little friends together with their parents. It had been a busy and happy gathering, with Flora enjoying the company of other small ones in the house, not to mention the presence of her two big adoring brothers who spoilt her rotten given any opportunity. And Caroline had enjoyed the party too. It had been a long time since she had heard such laughter in the house, and she had also, for the first time since the loss of Kate, taken a keen interest in the party and all the hosting preparations that went with it. She wasn't sure, but she felt that something in her was starting to heal, or at least starting to allow her to feel proper happiness again. And more importantly, she had realised at Flora's party that she was able to enjoy such moments of happiness without feeling the accompanying sense of pain and then horrendous loss that had haunted her so much ever since that fateful day.

Despite the lift in her feelings and overall outlook at Flora's party, Caroline had gone to bed that night knowing that the next two days still presented enormous challenges for her. She had of course first thought about the next day – the day that she and Kate should have been celebrating their second wedding anniversary. With emotions starting to bubble up inside her, Caroline tried to stop herself from thinking back to their wedding day morning and how she and Kate had lain in bed together, laughing and cuddling. Whilst the memories of those precious last hours together brought a flood of tears into her eyes, she knew she had to be strong for both herself and Flora and that she had to look forward.

So, on that Sunday night, Caroline had reviewed her plans for the next two days. Monday, she had decided, would be a quiet day for herself. She was still going in to work but she had told Beverley to not book any meetings for the day. She just wanted a free day where she had the flexibility to perform her administrative tasks as well as have the time to stop and think her own thoughts whenever she wanted to. And there was nothing planned for the evening – just a relaxed night at home with Lawrence and Flora.

Tuesday would be different. There would be no school – it was a day for her and Flora and memories of Kate. For the morning, Caroline had planned a visit to Brimham Rocks and the special, secluded lookout where Kate's ashes had been scattered. It was a peaceful place that Kate had taken Caroline to in their early days together. Tucked away in a quiet area of the rocks and with beautiful views of the ranges, it was one of Kate's favourite picnic locations - one that she had looked forward to visiting with her new born. Alas, that had never come to pass and so Caroline felt she should take up the reigns and make sure that this became a special place for Flora, just as it had been for her mother. And in time, Caroline would of course let Flora know of its significance in both their lives.

Thinking back to that Sunday night, Caroline remembered worrying about how well she was going to cope with the impending days, especially the Tuesday. But she had made a pact with herself, then and there, to not let Flora see her upset. It was going to be a happy day for Flora – something that Kate would have wanted so much.

A knock on her office door made Caroline jump as she returned from her thoughts back to the present.

"Caroline. Are you still there?"

Recognising the familiar voice of Beverley, Caroline called out "Yes, of course I am Beverley. Come in. You know I wouldn't head off for the weekend without saying good-bye to you!"

Looking around the door, Beverley responded cheekily "Well, you were so quiet in here. I thought you might have nodded off whilst reviewing those budget papers!"

"I nearly did, I can tell you. But no, I managed to get through them and am all ready for Monday's meeting. So they are not going home with me, that's for sure!"

"Good to hear. I think you are going to have other things on your plate though. Your mother just rang and wants you to call her back as soon as possible. Something about her hip – I think she has put it out and is having trouble walking."

"Oh dear. That sounds ominous doesn't it? Alan's away at Gillian's for a couple of nights so it looks like it will be me to the rescue. Okay – I'll call her now. And it's time you got out of here Beverley. Go on – out that door now! Have a good weekend and I will see you Monday. And I promise I will do the same as soon as I have rung Mum."

"Okay, okay. You're the boss! Have a good weekend too Caroline. And I hope the Celia "hip thing" settles down. Good luck. See you Monday."

Turning back to the desk, Caroline picked up the phone and rang Celia.

"Caroline?"

"Yes, it's me Mum. Beverley just gave me your message. What's the problem?"

"Oh, it's this stupid old hip of mine. Just went to get up from the table after a cuppa this afternoon and my right hip seemed to give way and I had to grab the chair to stop from falling. It's been aching ever since and I can't put much weight on it at all. I'm sure I've just put my hip out, like I've done before – remember? It's been a while though since the last time. Anyway, I think I need to see the physio and have it manipulated back into place. I've rung to make an appointment but my normal fellow Ian is away on holidays at the moment. His partner at the clinic though can see me at 5pm and I was wondering if you could drive me there. With Alan away, I don't really want to call for a taxi and have to ask the driver to get me in and out of the car like an old woman."

There goes my relaxing Friday evening thought Caroline. But the thought of a grumpy, incapacitated Celia all weekend was not a good thought either.

"Yes, of course Mum. We better get you sorted. I'm leaving work now so will be home soon. We can then go straight there. I'll call Laura and let her know what is happening. The clinic is that one only about 10 minutes from home isn't it?"

"Yes, it is. Thanks Caroline. I do appreciate you, you know."

"Yes Mum. See you soon. Bye."

* * *

Pulling out of the school gates, Caroline activated the Bluetooth in her Jeep and called her home number. After a couple of rings, she heard the cheerful voice of Laura.

"Hi Laura."

"Oh, hi Caroline. You on your way home?"

"Yes, I am. But I need to ask you a favour – yet again!"

"Of course Caroline, What is it?"

"I need to take Mum to the physio when I get home. She has done something to her hip this afternoon. Can you just stay "on duty" for an hour extra hour tonight and look after Flora? I think you said you had nothing arranged for this evening but if you have, just say so and I will take Flora with me."

"No worries Caroline, that will be fine. I am just having a quiet night in so will be happy to help out. And take your time – no stress!"

"Thanks Laura – you are a gem! What would I do without you?"

Laughing, Laura responded "Oh I think you'd manage Caroline, knowing you! I'll see you when I see you. Good luck with Celia."

After ending the call with the normal pleasantries, Caroline smiled and thought fondly about Laura and what a wonderful nanny she was. It had been such a stroke of luck that she had come into their lives. They had met whilst walking in the park and the children's playground some 10 months ago – Caroline with Flora and Laura with her two charges – Megan the three year old little girl and Harry the four year old Miniature Schnauzer dog.

As the friendship between Flora and Megan developed, so did the relationship between Caroline and Laura. They often found themselves chatting together whilst the two girls played. Caroline had learned that Laura was twenty-five years of age and had grown up in Australia after moving there as a child with her British-born parents. Upon completion of her formal education, she had gone on to gain qualifications in child care and had worked in that area for about four years before deciding that she wanted to travel. Landing in England, she had stayed with relatives and had picked up some casual jobs before being offered the live-in nanny position for Megan. That was eighteen months ago and she loved it, despite it being quite a demanding role given that both Megan's parents were corporate high flyers and worked long hours, often requiring Laura to be on duty almost 24x7. "I just really enjoy what I do." she had cheerily remarked to Caroline. "I know it is not everyone's cup of tea, but it is mine, and that's how it is!"

So it was with some surprise when, about six months ago, Caroline had met Laura in the park and quickly realised that she was not her usual happy self. Upon enquiring if anything was wrong, Laura had opened up and told her the news that she had received the previous day. Evidently Megan's parents were relocating to Singapore for work reasons and reluctantly, would have to let Laura go as a local nanny was provided as part of the posting.

Without saying anything to Laura, Caroline had immediately thought of her own situation and whether this was an opportunity to make a change. Whilst everything had been going along okay with Greg as nanny, she knew that it was not ideal for either him or her. He had a life to lead and she needed her house, space and privacy back. Over recent weeks, they had openly discussed possible alternatives but, with no immediate solutions on offer, they had both agreed to keep thinking about and investigating some form of new arrangement.

So now with Laura becoming available, Caroline realised this could be the opportunity she had been looking for, and one that Kate would have been happy with. After all, Laura and she were now good friends. She was not some unknown person from an agency, and Caroline knew she would be very comfortable having Laura around in the house. And on top of that, she had witnessed first-hand how good Laura was with children. It was evident that Megan thought the world of her and now, even Flora was best mates with her. Of course, she would need to follow up with Megan's parents and formally confirm Laura's background and present situation, but she felt confident that this would present no issues. And that is what had come to pass.

Caroline had met with Megan's parents – Anne and John - a few days later and everything had fallen into place. They had confirmed their impending move to Singapore and how disappointed they were in having to let Laura go. It was obvious they cared for Laura very much and hence were delighted when Caroline told them of her intention to offer Laura the position as Flora's nanny.

"I know you will love having Laura on board Caroline" enthused Anne as they walked towards the front door together. "And Laura is thrilled at the prospect of being with you and Flora."

"Yes, it's all worked out really well for us. Thank you Anne – and I do hope everything goes as well for you over in Singapore" responded Caroline.

"Yes, I am sure it will. There's just one more thing we have to get organised – Harry! We need a new home for him too."

"Oh of course. What will you do Anne? Put him up for adoption? He is a great little dog. Flora loves him."

"Well, I was wondering whether you might be interested Caroline. He is a good dog. No trouble whatsoever. And I have heard how well he gets on with Flora. Not to mention Laura who is extremely fond of him."

"Err, well um, yes, I suppose we could have him." Caroline heard herself saying. After all, she thought to herself quickly, she did like dogs and always had done, but had never felt she could accommodate one in her busy life. But now with Laura on hand to help out, perhaps it was the right time. And she and Kate had discussed getting a dog for Flora when she was a little bit older. So with those thoughts bouncing through her head, Caroline re-confirmed with Anne, somewhat more convincingly this time that, yes, she would be happy to adopt Harry. And that is what had come to pass.

Looking back now as she pulled into the driveway at home, she was so pleased that she had made that decision. Harry had fitted into the household perfectly and had won everybody over, even Celia. _"I wish I knew his secret!"_ she mused to herself as she alighted from the Jeep and strode towards Celia's door, hoping that she would find her mother ready and waiting for the trip to the clinic.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Jessica Dalton sat at her desk typing up the results from her last patient. She was glad it was Friday and there were no more patients booked in as it had been a long and busy week with her business partner away. She was just starting to think about treating herself to something special for dinner tonight when Helen, the clinic receptionist, popped her head around the door.

"Jess, Can you fit in one more before you pack up for the day? I have one of our regulars, Mrs Buttershaw, on the phone. She normally sees Ian but sounds like she is in a bit of bother. I said you may be able to see her but thought I'd check first given we were both on the verge of packing up for the night!"

"Yes, of course Helen. Can she make it in for 5'ish?

"I think so. I'll set it up and send you through her details for you to check through."

* * *

Just before five, Jessica finished her preparations for the new patient and so went out to the reception area to chat with Helen. She had only been there a minute or two when the clinic's door opened revealing two women, one of whom was older and was holding on to the arm of a younger, blonde-haired, smartly dressed woman. Walking over to assist, Jessica could not help but admire the look and presence of the younger woman who, for some reason, looked vaguely familiar. Unable to place where she might have met this rather lovely woman, she gathered her thoughts and made herself return to the task at hand.

"Hello" she said looking at the older woman and offering her hand. "You must be Mrs Buttershaw. I am Jessica Dalton, Ian's partner here at the clinic."

"Oh hello. Yes I am" said the older woman shaking Jessica's hand. "Please call me Celia. And this is my daughter Caroline."

Turning to face the younger woman, Jessica smiled and again offered her hand. She was immediately struck by the beautiful blue eyes that looked back at her intently and which seemed to be studying her face.

"Hello Caroline. Nice to meet you" she managed to get out. "I can take things from here if you like. But you are most welcome to accompany your mother into my rooms."

Still looking intently at Jessica, Caroline took Jessica's offered hand in a firm grip and shook it with a gentle motion, lingering for a second or two at the end before letting go. Jessica felt a tingling sensation shoot up her arm and she thought to herself – " _Heavens above! What happened then? Who is this woman?_ "

"Yes, nice to meet you too. But no, thanks for the offer - I'll let you take over as I don't think I will be of much help to you in there! And I am sure Mum will tell you all about it, won't you Mum?" returned Caroline with a quick cheeky glance towards Celia who in turn rolled her eyes. "I will just take a seat here in reception and catch my breath. I see you have a good supply of magazines to keep me entertained."

"Yes, we do" responded Jessica, and at the same time thinking what an engaging voice this woman had." We cover all interests I think. Just help yourself to whatever." And then turning to Celia, Jessica offered her arm and began leading her into her rooms saying "Ok Celia, follow me and let's see what you have done to yourself."

* * *

About thirty minutes later, the door to Jessica's rooms opened and Celia re-appeared, stepping forward slowly but unaided. Jessica walked by Celia's side, watching her movement, as they both made their way over to the reception desk and the waiting Caroline.

"Well, that looks more promising" offered Caroline, looking up from the magazine and smiling openly at the two women.

"Yes" returned Jessica, looking at Caroline and again being struck by those eyes that smiled back at her.

"We massaged and manipulated a few joints back into their right place. The hip is moving much better Caroline, but as I mentioned to Celia, I would like to see her again tomorrow just to make sure that everything is behaving itself and staying in alignment. The clinic is open till midday on Saturday and I know that the last appointment at half past eleven is still free."

"That is fine with me" offered Celia. And then looking at Caroline "I can always get a taxi tomorrow love, providing I don't fall in a heap. Such a nuisance Alan being away with the car."

"No Mum. I have not got much planned for tomorrow. I can bring you in. And half eleven will be good. Let's book that in" responded Caroline, glancing briefly at the receptionist before returning her gaze to Jessica. "And thank you Jessica for your help this evening and for seeing Mum at such short notice."

"My pleasure. Will see you both again tomorrow then. Have a good evening." returned Jessica, looking fist at Celia and then at Caroline before turning on her heel and walking back towards her rooms, all the while feeling that Caroline's eyes were upon her. " _Stop wishful thinking, you silly woman"_ thought Jessica. " _What has got into you this afternoon? Better go home and have a cold shower and pull yourself together!_ "

* * *

A short while later after Celia and Caroline had left, Jessica closed down her computer having completed the updates to Celia's records. Gathering her bag and jacket, she made her way back out to reception and as she did, she found herself thinking again of Caroline and the unexpected impact that this woman had had on her.

Upon seeing Helen who was also packing up her things for the night, she decided to make some enquiries.

"Helen?"

"Yes, Jess."

"Is Caroline, you know - Celia's daughter – is she a patient here? She just looked very familiar to me but I could not place her."

"No, she is not a patient here. But you have probably seen her picture from time to time in the local paper – handing out sporting trophies or speaking at some science conference. She is Head Teacher at Sulgrave Heath – Dr Caroline Elliot - though I think it is Dr Caroline Mckenzie-Dawson these days. My niece Emma goes to Sulgrave – so I knew who she was straight away. Emma speaks very highly of her and in fact was most upset, must be about 2 years ago, when Caroline's partner was killed in an awful hit-run incident. Her partner was also a teacher at Sulgrave and Emma was very fond of her too. She was her language teacher – Kate I think her name was. And the awful thing was, Kate was pregnant when knocked down. They managed to save the baby but not Kate. So you can imagine, the whole school community was in shock and a lot of the students and parents were quite affected."

"Oh, of course. Is that who she is." returned Jessica, suddenly feeling quite emotional at the thought of what this beautiful woman, whom she hardly knew, must have been through.

"I remember some of my patients, just after I started here at the clinic, talking to me about the tragedy. Some were quite upset about it, both for themselves as well as for their son or daughter who attended the school. I did not know anything about the people involved but it sounded dreadful. And I gathered from what people said that both Caroline and the teacher – Kate was it – were both highly regarded in the school community."

"Yes, they both were, very much so. And of course Caroline still is. Some thought she would not return to the school. But she did. And from all accounts has managed to keep doing her job very well. She is a very strong lady it seems - to have experienced such a tragedy but then managed to hold down a very demanding job whilst having a new baby to care for."

"Absolutely" Jessica said quietly, thinking to herself of the pain, loss and trauma that Caroline would have experienced, and probably still was experiencing.

"Come on, that's enough doom and gloom for the day" Helen perked up. "Let's get out of here now, both of us!" And with that, they both left the clinic.

* * *

Having cleared the bench and packed the dishwasher, Caroline flicked off the kitchen lights and walked down the hall to the family room where Lawrence was curled up with Harry on the couch, engrossed in watching some sci-fi movie.

"This any good?" she asked sitting down on the couch beside him.

"Yeah, not bad" he replied glancing quickly at her before returning his eyes to the screen.

"What's it about?" she enquired cheekily, knowing full well the response she was going to get.

"Awww Mum! It's half way through. And you hate this type of stuff anyway!"

"I know, I know - just pulling your leg! I've just come to say good night and to give you a big kiss!" And with that she quickly leaned forward and planted a kiss on Lawrence's cheek.

"No, stop it Mum" came the response.

Laughing, she stood up and made her way back down the hall and up the stairs to her bedroom, stopping briefly to look in on Flora and check that all was OK.

Once in her bedroom, Caroline went over to the bed and slowly stretched her weary body out on it.

"Finally," she said to herself out loud, "some quiet time for me. I need to have a think about what happened this afternoon."

Shutting her eyes, Caroline turned her mind back to the clinic and her meeting with Jessica Dalton. The vision of a tall, attractive woman came flooding back to her again, just as it had done on the drive home and on several other occasions during the evening. She recalled so clearly the lovely, friendly smile and the bright eyes that had looked straight back at her in a knowing type of way, as if they had met somewhere before. And then there was the hand shake. As much as she tried, Caroline could not forget the intense feeling that had coursed through her hand and up her arm during those few short seconds. She recalled being so aware of Jessica's touch, of the softness of her skin but also the firm, confident way in which she had held Caroline's hand.

Continuing to let her mind run free, her thoughts turned to memories of Kate and their first encounter and the sensations that she had experienced then. She suddenly felt a pang of guilt about letting this Jessica Dalton woman into her thoughts, but it was quickly replaced by a vision of Kate having a chuckle at Caroline's struggle to make sense of what had happened at the clinic. This ability to think of Kate as "removed" but watching over Caroline and being okay with what she thought and did was a relatively new occurrence. In fact, it had only been during the last couple of months that Caroline had felt some positive, forward-looking vibes when thinking of Kate. It was if Kate was trying to tell her to start living again, both for herself and for Flora.

"OK then Kate" she heard herself saying out loud. "Help me out here. What is going on with me? This woman today, she is nothing like you – at least I don't think she is - and yet I felt some form of connection, just like I did with you. Tell me to pull myself together and stop this nonsense. Will you please?"

Opening her eyes, she waited for some form of sign, not really knowing what to expect. To her surprise, it came in the form of Harry who had left Lawrence and sneaked upstairs in search of his new favourite mistress. Jumping up on the bed, he happily landed on Caroline's chest and pushed his nose against her face, managing to give her a quick lick in the process.

"Jesus Harry! Where the hell did you come from?" gasped Caroline before breaking into laughter and running her hand down his silky grey back. "You gave me such a shock, you little devil."

"Woof, woof" and a madly wagging tail was the happy response. It was if nothing else in the world really mattered, thought Caroline. The moment was simply there to be enjoyed, with no regrets about the past, and no concerns about the future.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

 **A/N - Many thanks for the feedback to date. A shorter chapter this time, still setting the scene a bit. I hope to move things on in the next chapter. Happy reading!**

Sitting in the clinic's reception area, Caroline glanced at her watch and felt a slight degree of annoyance bubble up within her. It was nearly midday and there had been no sign of Celia being called in for her appointment. _We've been waiting here for nearly half an hour_ thought Caroline and almost automatically, she began to tap her foot on the floor.

"Oh stop it Caroline" came the voice from Celia who was sitting beside her with her face happily buried in the Daily Mail. "Just relax. There's no plane to catch. And I am sure she won't be too much longer."

"Mmmm – I hope note" Caroline retorted rather quietly, realising that she was behaving rather impatiently, and had been all morning after a fitful sleep. _Impatient for what?_ she wondered to herself. _For_ a _nother glimpse of this Jessica Dalton so she could prove to herself that yesterday's "interesting" interaction was just a one-off?_

Trying to distract her mind from such wonderings, Caroline turned her attention to Flora who was sitting on the floor and happily playing with a number of toys that she had found in the well-stocked toy box. She was such a joy to behold and as usual, Caroline felt the tension within her body starting to dissipate, thankful as ever that this beautiful little girl was part of her life.

It was at that moment that the door to Jessica's rooms opened and an elderly man appeared, making his way slowly over to the reception desk. With the door to the rooms still open, Caroline could see Jessica sitting at her desk, typing away quickly on her computer. She noted her smart, casual clothes, her stylish short hair-cut, her olive skin tone and her slim but athletic looking body. She also noticed that she wore no rings on her fingers. _Interesting_ thought Caroline, _I wonder what her story is?_

It was at that moment that Jessica turned her head and saw Caroline looking at her from her seat in reception. With a weary smile breaking across her face, Jessica stood up, pointed at her watch and then threw her hands into the sky as if to say- "I know, my time-keeping is lousy!"

Seeing a smile starting to form on Caroline's face, Jessica quickly walked out to reception and straight up to where Celia and Caroline were sitting.

"Hello again Celia, Caroline. I am so sorry to keep you waiting. It has just been one of those mornings. We had a couple of the earlier patients arrive late for their appointments and that just pushed the whole schedule out. I should have made them re-book but both were in a bit of bother and so I went ahead and saw them."

"That's all right. We quite understand, don't we Caroline" chirped in Celia quickly, with a sideways glance to Caroline, as if to say "Behave yourself!"

"Yes of course we do" Caroline found herself saying, continuing to smile at Jessica before turning her head slightly and shooting a similar "Behave yourself" glance back at Celia.

Whilst inwardly amused at witnessing this interaction between Celia and Caroline, Jessica could feel a touch of tension in the room and was debating what to say next when she heard a giggling noise strike up behind her.

Turning around, she saw a gorgeous little girl with masses of curly black hair sitting on the floor, happily playing with two teddy bears. Knowing immediately who this little girl was, Jessica went over and kneeled down beside her.

"Hello there. My name is Jess. What's your name?"

"Flora" came the happy response.

"Nice to meet you Flora. Do you like these teddies?" continued Jessica, sneaking a look back to Celia and Caroline whom, she was relieved to see, appeared to have put their little "power struggle" behind them and were now both looking more relaxed as they watched Flora interact with her.

"Yes, like all teddies. More?" queried Flora.

"I think you have enough toys there" interrupted Caroline, standing up and walking over to where Flora was playing.

Rising from her kneeling position, Jessica turned to Caroline, looked straight into her blue eyes and quietly said – "She is adorable Caroline. She must mean the world to you."

Suddenly feeling a flood of tears in her eyes, Caroline realised that her voice had deserted her. All she could do was tilt her head, smile and look back at Jessica with her lips mouthing "Yes, she does."

Seeing the emotion in Caroline and recalling what this woman had been through, Jessica felt her own heart miss a beat. Stepping towards Caroline, she lifted her arm and touched Caroline gently on the shoulder before continuing past her, back to where Celia was still sitting.

"Come on then Celia. Let's see how that hip of yours is travelling" said Jessica, gesturing towards her consulting room.

* * *

Driving back home in the afternoon, Caroline found herself lost in thoughts – thoughts about Jessica and how again this morning, she had managed to unsettle Caroline in a way that Kate had unsettled her when they first met. Questions raced through her head, one after the other.

 _What was_ _Jessica's story? Why did she seem to look at Caroline with such intensity? Why did Caroline feel some form of connection with her? And how did she know about Flora and what she meant to Caroline? After all, Flora looked nothing like Caroline. Nobody would know that Flora was her daughter unless they had been told._

"Mum?" she suddenly blurted out.

"Yes love. You're been very quiet this afternoon. Anything the matter?" queried Celia in response.

"Mmm – am I? No, nothing wrong. I was just wondering whether you told Jessica – you know, your physio – about me and Kate and Flora and things?"

"No, of course not Caroline. I don't go round telling folk about your business. I never said anything and she never asked anything. Why do you ask anyway?"

"Oh no reason really. She just seemed to pick up very quickly that Flora was with me. Most people don't make that connection, you know, because Flora is not exactly a replica of me is she? She is Kate through and through."

"Well, she may have heard something from one of her patients, who knows? I expect she gets some very chatty ones in there who talk about everyone else's business."

"Yes, I suppose so."

"Anyway, why don't you go and ask her yourself if you really want to know?"

"What do you mean Mum?" responded Caroline, rather surprised, given that she had only been thinking rather despondently that she would probably never see Jessica again unless Celia had another crisis and needed her help in getting to the clinic.

"Well that neck and shoulder of yours! I see you moving your head from side to side all the time. I know it's hurting you and giving you bother. Why don't you go and see someone and get it sorted? And I reckon Jessica would fix it. I have been most impressed with her. In fact, I am considering swapping over to her from Ian. So go on love, just make an appointment and get it checked out. You've got nothing to lose."

"Goodness! You're on a roll this afternoon Mum aren't you? But okay, I hear what you are saying and I'll think about it."

And with that, Caroline glanced into her rear vision mirror and saw Flora nodding off to sleep in her car seat. _Yes, you really are adorable_ thought Caroline, feeling a lift in her spirits. _Let's get you home and into bed_.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

 _ **A/N - Thanks again for your reviews. Am glad that people seem OK with how this relationship is developing and hope I can continue it. I am off on holidays in a few days so the next chapter may be a couple of weeks away. But if I can find some time, I will try and post one earlier. Thanks!**_

Rolling onto her side, Jessica looked at the alarm clock and then sighed deeply. It was seven o'clock Sunday morning and she had lain awake in bed for the last two hours, tossing, turning and thinking about the events of the last two days.

As much as she had tried, she could not get Caroline out of her head. This was despite her sensible inner-self telling her that she needed to stop thinking about this woman. After all, Caroline had left the clinic yesterday afternoon and there was no reason for her to visit there again, at least not in the short term whilst Celia's hip continued to behave itself. And it was this thought that disturbed Jessica the most because she knew, deep inside, that she really wanted to see Caroline again and get to know this woman who had stirred such strong feelings and emotions within her.

Thinking back, Jessica realised that it had been a very long time since a woman had had this sort of impact upon her. She could not deny that she had been physically attracted to Caroline from the moment she first set eyes upon her at the clinic. She was a striking looking woman and those wonderful blue eyes – well, they just drew you in hook, line and sinker! But it was more than that. In their two brief encounters, Jessica had witnessed several sides of Caroline – strength, warmth, tenderness, humour, cheekiness, fragility and sadness. She knew she was intrigued by this woman, in more ways than one, and it seemed to be such a lost opportunity to let her disappear out of her life without ever knowing what could have been.

 _But what are you looking for here – a friendship, a relationship or what?_ Jessica suddenly asked herself.

It had been nearly four years since Jane had walked out on her and in that time, Jessica had often wondered whether she would be able to start a relationship ever again. The break-up with Jane had hurt her deeply. She had not seen it coming and to this day, she still did not know what she could have done to have prevented it. Jane had simply announced on that Saturday morning that their relationship was over and that she would be out of the house by the end of the weekend. Jessica had looked back at her in stunned silence, at first thinking she was joking. They had only made love the night before last, with Jane seeming to be more passionate and demonstrative than she had ever been before. They had both gone off to work as per usual on the Friday morning, with Jane saying that she would be home late as she needed to attend a large corporate function in the evening – one of the many that her company organised. Sure enough, Jessica had gone to bed that night with no sight or sound of Jane. It was only in the early hours of Saturday morning that she had stirred slightly, conscious of Jane coming into the bedroom and quietly getting into bed next to her. By the time she woke up fully on Saturday morning, Jane had already risen.

Not thinking anything was wrong, Jessica had showered, dressed and then made her way to the kitchen expecting to find Jane with a coffee, and probably a sore head from too much alcohol the night before. Instead, she found Jane standing at the kitchen bench with her back towards her. Upon hearing Jessica enter the room, Jane had turned around and uttered those words - It's over -just like that. No explanation, no discussion, no apologies. And despite Jessica's attempts over the next 48 hours to talk to Jane and try to get her to explain what on earth had gone wrong, Jane had remained tight-lipped, refusing to enter into any form of conversation.

Looking back now, those 48 hours had been the most bizarre, upsetting, infuriating and confusing time of her life. The following few weeks were not much better either, with all communication regarding the break-up of their joint belongings and property being handled by Jane's lawyers. Jessica had not argued or disputed the settlement terms as Jane had at least been fair in her assessment of who owned what. And so it was, some three months later, having bought out Jane's share of the house, that Jessica found herself sitting alone in that same kitchen. Looking around her, the only memories of Jane was a clock on the wall that she had brought home from one of her work trips. And then there was Maddie, their beloved little dog, whom they had brought home as a puppy some six years previously, just after they had first moved into this house. "Thank goodness I still have you" she remembered saying to the little bearded face. "And no, I am not going to leave you!" she had added, taking comfort in the bright black eyes that stared inquisitively back at her.

Realising that such memories were starting to upset her, Jessica sat up in bed saying out loud to herself "Enough, enough Jess. This is doing you no good at all. Come on, time to get moving. I think a hearty breakfast and a long walk in the park are needed."

* * *

Opening up the curtains of her bedroom, Caroline basked in the sunlight that came streaming in through the window. It was a beautiful spring day and she immediately decided that she and Flora would head out somewhere and make the most of the glorious weather.

Thinking about where to go, she recalled Laura telling her about a new park that one of the other nannies had recommended. Not only was the park dog-friendly with numerous walking trails, it also adjoined a very good café that was open for breakfast through to lunch. Looking at her watch, Caroline began to plan the day.

* * *

After an energetic thirty minute walk, Jessica arrived at her favourite café and the parklands where she used to walk Maddie, right up until just before her passing a few months previously. She still missed having a dog by her side, especially when out walking. But the trauma of Maddie's long battle with a malignant tumour and her eventual euthanisation was still fresh in Jessica's mind. She knew the time would come when she felt right about having a dog again in her life, but that time wasn't now.

Taking a seat at a sunny outside table, she had only been settled a minute when the waitress approached with a cheery smile.

"Morning Jess. Lovely day isn't it? Are you having your usual?"

"Yes thanks Mia. That would be great."

"Okay. I'll get the kitchen working on it straight away. And I'll bring out the morning newspapers for you as well."

"Excellent. Thanks Mia. A glass of water would also be good. I've worked up quite a thirst on my walk here this morning."

"Shall do" returned Mia happily as she made her way back inside the café.

A short time later, Jessica's breakfast arrived and she tucked into it with gusto, realising that she had hardly eaten in the last twenty four hours. It was just as she was swallowing her last mouthful that she heard an unmistakable voice behind her, causing her to almost choke in the process.

"Hello again."

Swinging around in her seat, she saw Caroline looking down upon her with a warm smile. Between coughs and splutters, Jessica smiled back taking in the full picture of Caroline. She was dressed in smart casual gear with her hair down, only a small amount of make-up on, and she looked as beautiful as ever. Holding onto one of her hands was Flora, whilst her other hand was holding a lead to which was attached a small dog that looked remarkably like her old Maddie.

After what seemed an eternity, Jessica managed to clear her throat and utter some words.

"Caroline, what a surprise! But really good to see you!"

"Is it? Looks like we almost made you choke just then!" quipped Caroline, again showing Jessica the cheeky grin that she had witnessed at the clinic.

"No, I'm fine. Really" lied Jessica. "Something went down the wrong way, that's all. Are you just arriving or leaving?"

"Arriving. We have not been here before."

"Well, why don't you join me? There's plenty of room here. And I can tell you what's best to order on the menu. I come here often, so to speak!"

"Oh, you do do you! I'll remember that!" returned Caroline, again with a humorous, cheeky glint in her eyes. "But yes" she continued "it would be nice to join you if you don't mind your peace being shattered. Flora here can be quite chatty."

"Can she now?" Jessica responded brightly, turning her attention to the little girl who had been standing quietly by Caroline's side. Reaching out her arm, Jessica touched Flora lightly on her tummy saying "Hello again Flora. Remember me? I'm Jess. And is this your lovely doggy?"

"Yes" came the response.

"What's his name then?

"Hazzy."

"It's Harry" added Caroline quietly from the side as she pulled up a chair, attaching Harry's lead to the table leg in the process.

"Oh, that's a great name Flora. I bet you love Harry very much." Jessica continued, smiling back at Caroline and mouthing "thank you" for the interpretation assistance.

"Yes. We walk Hazzy?"

"No, not just now darling" interjected Caroline. "We will walk him later though. Come over here and sit with me and we will have a drink first. How about a nice glass of milk?"

Nodding her head, Flora stepped towards Caroline who lifted her up and sat her on the seat beside her.

"Right" said Jessica, scanning the café for Mia. "I'll catch the waitress's eye."

* * *

"So you haven't been here before Caroline?" queried Jessica as they waited for their coffees and Flora's milk to arrive.

"No, never. I only found out about it this week. And when I saw what a beautiful day it was today, I thought we would come and give it a try."

"Well, it is a great spot – one of my favourites. I love the breakfasts here, especially the smashed avocado on toast which is what you saw me choking on earlier. And the park is lovely. Great for walking dogs. I used to bring mine here. She was just like your Harry – a Mini Schnauzer."

"Oh really. And you don't have her anymore?" queried Caroline _,_ at the same time thinking _Interesting,_ s _he always refers to "I", never "we"_.

"No unfortunately. I had to have her put down about 3 months ago. Awful tumour."

Oh, I am sorry" said Caroline genuinely, seeing a flash of sadness in Jessica's eyes. "It is so hard to say good-bye. They are great companions aren't they? We've only had Harry for about four months but he has well and truly wriggled himself into all our hearts."

"Yes, I can imagine. He is rather gorgeous."

Just at that point, the drinks arrived, allowing Jessica to quickly regroup and change the topic of conversation.

"So how is your mother's hip coming along?"

"Great. She sings your praises you know. Even talks about dumping Ian and swapping over to you."

"Oh really. That may not win me any friends at the clinic!"

Glancing at each other, they both chuckled briefly before Caroline continued. "How long have you actually been at the clinic, Jessica?"

"Oh please call me Jess Caroline. Jessica is for work and when I am in trouble."

"Okay. I'll remember that!" Caroline exclaimed before repeating "And so how long have you been at the clinic Jess?"

Smiling back at Caroline, Jessica inwardly picked up on the "I'll remember that" comment, wondering whether Caroline was implying that they would become friends. _Perhaps, perhaps_ she thought to herself hopefully, before realising with a start that she needed to respond to Caroline's question.

"Just under 2 years."

"Mmm" responded Caroline thoughtfully, suddenly appearing to become more serious.

Noticing the change, Jessica leaned forward in her seat and gently asked "You okay Caroline?"

"Yes, yes, I am fine. I was just thinking back to yesterday at the clinic - and when you met Flora. Can I ask you, er, um, how did you know she was my daughter? People don't normally make that connection at the first meeting like you did."

Not wanting to make-up stories, Jessica decided that honesty was the best policy and, taking a deep breath, she told Caroline how she had queried Helen about Caroline after her visit to the clinic on the Friday afternoon.

"So when I saw just the three of you in reception yesterday morning, I automatically deduced that Flora was Kate's daughter - your little girl. I hope you don't mind. I wasn't being nosy or anything like that when I asked after you. I just thought I knew you from somewhere" she trailed off, watching Caroline who had now lowered her head and seemed to be staring intently at the ground.

Concerned at what Caroline was now thinking, Jessica continued on.

"I know it's none of my business Caroline, but can I just say – I was extremely moved when I heard about the tragedy, even before I met you or knew anything about you. I cannot even try to imagine what you have been through, and I did not mean to bring this into the conversation today. But I did not want to lie to you either, about how I knew."

"It's okay Jess" Caroline finally responded, lifting her head and looking back at Jessica with tears showing in her eyes. "It just seems so weird sometimes, when I hear about how people talk about what happened to Kate and I. It's as though we were some characters in a TV drama. I know they mean no harm. And I know that most people talk kindly of us and seem to respect the relationship that we had. But it all just brings it back to me with a tremendous jolt because it is still so real in my mind. I really should not have asked you to explain. I could have guessed how you knew, now I think about it. I'm sorry for being like this."

Leaning further forward on her chair, Jessica placed her hand over Caroline's and quietly said "Please don't apologise. No need. How about we go for a walk? I think Flora and Harry have been patient long enough."

* * *

Standing at the side of the park's open field, Caroline looked over to where Jessica was playing ball with Flora. She smiled as she watched them both run around, tossing the ball back and forth and trying to keep it off Harry. Of course, Jessica was doing most of the work, chasing after Harry one minute, retrieving the ball from his mouth the next minute, and then running back to Flora and giving her the ball so she could throw it again.

 _She is one fit lady!_ thought Caroline as she began to review the events of the last couple of hours. There was no denying she had been genuinely pleased to see Jessica sitting at the café, and had been even more pleased when Jessica had asked them to join her. They had chatted comfortably together, sharing a laugh here and there as well as seeming to understand one another when more serious topics arose. And twice now, Caroline realized, she has seen me become emotional and has shown genuine, kind concern on both occasions. Recalling the gentle touch on the shoulder and the covering of her hand plus the warmth she had felt in both interactions, Caroline looked to the heavens and quietly said "I like this woman Kate. And I would like to get to know her better."

No sooner had she uttered these words than she heard squeals of delight coming from Flora. Looking over to where the three were playing, she now saw Jessica holding her hands on either side of her head with her index fingers pointing to the sky.

"I am coming to get you" she called out to Flora as she strode towards her. Flora in response was running towards Caroline, giggling loudly and looking behind every couple of seconds to make sure she was keeping out of Jessica's clutches. Upon reaching Caroline, she grabbed her legs and snuggled in behind them calling out "Hide me Mummy!"

Breaking into a laugh as well, Caroline bent down and picked Flora up just as Jessica reached them.

"You seem to have a way with children" Caroline said, looking cheerfully at Jessica and noting the gorgeous smile that lit up her whole face.

"I think they have a way with me!" gasped Jessica back. "I'm exhausted!"

"I am not surprised. How about we head back? It will be time for Flora's s rest soon and I am sure she will need one."

"Yes, that's fine with me. I think I will need one too!" exclaimed Jessica, as they all turned and headed back in the direction of the café.

* * *

"Where did you park your car?" queried Caroline as they approached the car park next to the café.

"Oh, I walked here this morning. I needed to clear my head" responded Jessica, thinking at the same time, _"If only you knew Caroline why I had to clear my head!"_

"Well, would you like a lift home? I think you have done enough exercise for the day!"

Pausing and thinking that she would love a lift home with this woman whose company she enjoyed so much, she finally decided to not push her luck and heard herself saying "Thanks Caroline, but no, I am happy to walk. It's probably out of your way anyhow."

"It can't be that far out of my way if you walked here" Caroline replied quickly, seeing the opportunity to not part from Jessica just yet, and to perhaps have a chance to ask her a few questions about herself. After all, she chided herself, she still knew very little about her.

"Come on." she continued. "My car is just over here" as she began to walk towards a black Jeep.

"If you insist" Jessica replied.

"Yes I do!" called out Caroline happily, as she reached the Jeep and opened the back door. "Can you grab Harry and pop him in the other side whilst I get Flora buckled in?"

Doing as instructed, Jessica picked up Harry and was placing him on the back seat when she looked over at Caroline and saw her grimace as she lowered Flora into her baby seat.

"What's up Caroline? Have you hurt yourself?"

Ahh, no. It's just my neck and shoulder. They play up a bit from time to time."

"Well, you should see somebody and get it fixed."

"And could you recommend someone?" Caroline queried with that engaging cheekiness that Jessica had already come to love.

"Yes, I might know somebody. She is excellent I hear" Jessica fired back, hoping to give as good as she got.

"Oh, get in the car!" came the laughing response.

* * *

They had only been driving five minutes when Jessica noticed that Flora had already fallen asleep.

"That didn't take long" said Jessica, nodding towards the little girl in the back seat.

"No I didn't think it would" responded Caroline, looking in the rear vision and seeing Flora's resting head.

Relaxing in the comfortable passenger's seat, Jessica reviewed the last few hours and, without thinking too much about it, she heard herself saying "Thank you Caroline, it's been a lovely morning. I really enjoyed spending time with you, Flora, and of course Harry"

Taking her eyes off the road for a few seconds, Caroline glanced at Jessica and smiled broadly.

"Well thank you too Jess. It's been the same for me, for us. Really enjoyable." And then, after a short pause and a deep breath, Caroline added "We must do it again one day. But only on one condition."

"And what is that?" enquired Jessica, delighted to hear that Caroline wanted to meet again, but concerned at what the condition might be.

"That you tell me some more about yourself. I know nothing about you other than that you are a good physiotherapist, have been at the clinic here in Harrogate for two years, and used to have a dog called Maddie."

Letting out a relieved laugh, Jessica quickly responded with "Well, how about I start right now and give you a potted history so that I can tick off that condition straight away."

"I suppose you can try" agreed Caroline, somewhat amused and flattered at Jessica's enthusiasm to comply.

"Okay, here goes. I was born and grew up in York. I am forty five years of age and have two brothers – one older and one younger. My father passed away about ten years ago but my mother is going strong and still lives in York. I visit her reasonably regularly, along with my brothers and their families who both live not far from here. Prior to coming to work in Harrogate, I had a practice in Manchester which is where I went to university and gained my qualifications. I enjoy dining out, gardening, walking, and generally keeping busy. And, I've never broken any bones, I do not have any children, I have never been married, but I have had a couple of long term relationships with women, the last one ending about four years ago. Will that do for now because we are nearly at my house?"

Knowing she was about to burst into full-on laughter, Caroline brought the Jeep to a halt and looked over at Jessica, placing her hand on her knee. Catching each other's eyes, they then both erupted, laughing and chortling together.

"So, did I pass?" Jessica finally managed to get out.

"Yes, you did" gasped Caroline. "But I insist there are more instalments - just like that one!"

And with that, they both broke into another round of laughing.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

 ** _A/N Hello again. Sorry for the wait between chapters but have been away on holidays. Hope you enjoy this next instalment. And the next one should not be too long away. Cheers for now._**

Having tucked Flora in and kissed her goodnight, Caroline turned off the bedside light and retreated quietly from her room. Returning to the kitchen, she poured herself a glass of red wine before heading to the comfy chair in the corner where she sat down and reviewed the day's events.

It had been a busy day but a good day. There had been the surprise meeting with Jessica in the morning, followed by Lawrence's rugby match later in the afternoon where she and Flora had cheered him on, whistling and calling out like they were die-hard rugby fans. She knew Lawrence loved having them come along to a match, and especially loved seeing Flora there waving her little scarf. What a change to two years ago when he had refused to have anything to do with her. Caroline knew she had Greg to thank for much of this change in behaviour, but she also knew that Flora herself was responsible. She had won his heart over, in the same way that she had won hers and Celia's and Alan's and so the list went on. She was an absolute joy. Kate would have been so proud of her.

With memories of Kate starting to flood her mind, Caroline felt a pang of guilt. She had really enjoyed the time with Jessica and had been pondering when and where their next meeting would be. Should she be thinking such thoughts? Was she being insensitive in wanting to get to know this woman? Slowly reassuring herself that Kate would not have wanted her to remain alone or friendless for the rest of her life, Caroline took a deep breath and re-directed her thoughts back to Jessica and the remarkable set of circumstances that had brought them together over the last couple of days. First there had been her mother hurting her hip at a time when her normal physiotherapist was on leave. This had coincided with Alan being away at Gillian's, resulting in Caroline taking Celia to the clinic and her first meeting with Jessica. Then there had been Laura finding out about the new park and telling Caroline about it, and Caroline's subsequent decision on the Sunday morning to go to the park, only to find that Jessica had decided exactly the same. It was all a bit "spooky," Caroline mused, beginning to relax at the thought that her meeting Jessica was just meant to be.

 _So when will I see her again?_ Caroline pondered. Whilst they had swapped mobile phone numbers and called out "see you soon" as they parted on Sunday, neither of them had taken the initiative to arrange any form of follow-up meeting.

 _Perhaps I will go and see her about this neck of mine. But is that wise? Receiving professional services from a friend?_ With such questions spinning around in her head, Caroline sat quietly and tried to determine how she should proceed with this new found "relationship." Unable to decide upon a clear course of action, she eventually gave up and made her way to bed, hoping for a good night's sleep in readiness for the busy school week ahead.

* * *

It was mid-morning Wednesday and Jessica was tidying up after the previous patient when Helen buzzed her on the phone from reception.

"Yes Helen. What's up?"

"Nothing Jess. But thought you would like to hear that you have a new patient. Remember Celia from last Friday? Well her daughter Caroline, you know, the head teacher from Sulgrave Heath, she rang a short while ago wanting an appointment with you. I've booked her in for the last time-slot tomorrow. You must have impressed Celia given that Caroline asked to see you, not Ian."

"Oh, that's good to hear. Thanks for letting me know Helen" replied Jessica, desperately trying to hide both the excitement and nervousness in her voice.

Putting down the phone, Jessica sat back in her chair and smiled to herself. She had decided when driving in this morning that she was going to ring Caroline today, no matter what. They had not spoken since Sunday and Jessica had started to worry. On top of that, she had been thinking about the coming weekend and wondering whether she had the courage to ask Caroline to accompany her to a small party at her brother's place. It might be too soon to introduce her to family but then again, the party presented an opportunity for them to spend some time together. Realising that she needed to get back to work, Jessica decided to put that thought aside to Thursday and to when she next saw Caroline.

* * *

As five o'clock Thursday approached, Jessica could feel herself getting more and more agitated. She was so looking forward to seeing Caroline and yet also knew that she needed to act professionally and keep her mind on track at all times. By the time Helen buzzed her to let her know that Caroline had arrived, she felt quite anxious. Shutting her eyes, she calmly tried to gather her thoughts before walking boldly out to reception. Once there, her eyes automatically found Caroline, standing with her back towards her, looking out the window.

Stopping in her tracks, Jessica gave herself a few seconds to take in the complete picture of Caroline. Like when she had come to the clinic with Celia, Caroline was immaculately dressed in a beautiful tailored suit, elegant high-heeled shoes and stylish but understated accessories to match. Together with her lovely but slightly tousled blond hair, she struck an imposing but beautiful figure – someone you would not want to mess with. And yet, thought Jessica, underneath all that is a very warm, sensitive, humorous and fragile human-being who is working hard to deal with and recover from an enormous emotional upheaval.

Feeling her heart going out to Caroline, Jessica recovered herself as quickly as she could and spoke out brightly "Hi Caroline. Good to see you. I wasn't sure you'd take up my suggestion about seeing someone."

Turning around with a smile already appearing on her face, Caroline responded. "Well, my mother's been on at me as well. And she kept saying that I should come and see you. So with both you and her giving me a hard time, I thought I may as well give in and do as instructed."

"I bet that doesn't happen too often!" Jessica said cheekily, raising an eyebrow at Caroline and smiling in the hope that a bit of humour would help to ease the tension that she felt within her. The longer she stood there looking at Caroline, the more she wondered how she would manage massaging her. Just the sight of her made her catch her breath and recall those tingling sensations that she felt each time they'd had some form of body contact, no matter how minor. And now she was going to be running her hands all over her back!

 _What the hell have you got yourself into here Jessica? You should have known better than suggest she come and see you. You are going to need every professional bone in your body to keep this on track today!_ was all she could think before realising that Caroline was still looking and smiling at her, patiently waiting for an instruction.

"Come on then, let's see if I can live up to your mother's expectations" she managed to get out, waving her hand in the direction of her rooms.

"Yes, let's see!" returned Caroline as she stood up and stroud past Jessica into the consulting room.

* * *

Lying face down on the massage table with her half naked body covered by a surgical gown, Caroline felt incredibly nervous as she waited for Jessica to commence the therapy. They had previously been chatting quite comfortably as Jessica had asked Caroline about her condition. It had been easy talking with her, just like on the previous occasions, and she had again thought about how much she enjoyed this woman's company. But now, as she waited for Jessica's hands to touch her, she felt herself becoming more and more tense and her mind begin to race with thoughts that she struggled to control. She had not been touched by anyone since Kate, not in any way whatsoever, and she was concerned about how she would react.

"Okay Caroline, I am going to start work on your back and then move to your neck and shoulders. You will probably feel some discomfort at times as I work on pressure points, but if it gets too much just let me know. Is that all right?"

"Yes, that's fine" Caroline responded trying to hide her anxiety whilst at the same time noting that Jessica was also sounding anxious. Her voice had a tremble in it that Caroline had not heard before and she wondered what was causing it. But before she could think much further about it, she felt the gown being untied and the first touch of Jessica's hands upon her back. Immediately, her whole body automatically stiffened as the gentle but strong hands began to glide over her.

"It's okay Caroline. Just try and relax" encouraged Jessica softly, feeling Caroline's reaction in her hands and immediately understanding what was probably going on in her head. She knew it would be hard for Caroline, having someone touch her again after Kate, but she also knew that she had the power to calm and relax Caroline. And so she continued, gently massaging Caroline's neck, shoulders and back, working hard to soothe, stroke and relieve tensed-up muscles and pressure points.

Little by little, Jessica felt Caroline's body beginning to unwind and to relax under her touch. At the same time, she also felt herself becoming calmer despite the very strong feelings of attraction that she knew she had for this woman lying in front of her. She had no idea whether Caroline felt anything for her, but that did not concern her now. As much as she hoped that something would develop between them, her main focus at that moment was to try and heal Caroline. To heal her physically, in the hope that it may help her to heal inside.

"Mmmm, that feels good" uttered Caroline, after about twenty minutes of constant massaging and manipulation by Jessica. Realising that her anxiety about being touched by another woman had subsided, Caroline now lay there, realising that the tension in her whole body had disappeared. And yet she also realised, with some difficulty, that she was very much aroused by this woman standing over her. Initially, it was hard for her to accept this fact, but as Jessica's hands continued to move over her, it was like her mind also relaxed and allowed her to think such thoughts. She felt safe and protected, and also comfortable in acknowledging that she was attracted to Jessica.

"I'm glad you think so" responded Jessica gently as she concentrated on the final stages of the massage. "And I am not surprised you have been having headaches and stiffness. Your shoulder and neck muscles were as tight as tight. They are feeling much more at ease now, but you should probably think about having some treatment on a regular basis you know."

"Oh yes. And where do you recommend I should get such treatment?" came Caroline's response, laughing a little as she said it.

"With whomever you like" quipped Jessica back, giving Caroline's back an extra little tap as she began the final stages of the massage.

* * *

Upon leaving the changing room, Caroline walked over to where Jessica was sitting at her computer, staring at the screen and apparently lost in thoughts. From the side angle, Caroline could see strain and tension showing on Jessica's face, and she wondered how best to attract her attention without startling her too much.

"Calling Dr Dalton, are you there?"

With a slight jump, Jess turned and smiled warmly back at Caroline whom she realised was looking at her with a somewhat concerned and caring look.

"Yes, I'm here. And I'm fine - just day dreaming for a moment" she replied quickly, not wanting to show in any way that she had been replaying the last half hour in her mind and trying to check that she had behaved appropriately at all times during the massage. "And what is all this formal Doctor business anyway? It's Jess remember" she continued on brightly, trying to lighten her mood.

"Just respecting the professional physician-patient relationship" returned Caroline, with her face breaking into that cheeky, questioning look that Jess immediately recognised and tried to imitate back, causing them both to break into a chuckle.

"Oh stuff that!" exclaimed Jessica returning to her cheerier self. "I need a drink and was wondering if you have time to join me for one. There is a great little wine bar one minute walk from here. What do you reckon?"

"Do all patients drive you to drink?" queried Caroline, still chuckling.

"No, only certain ones, and I am not saying anything more on the grounds that it may incriminate me. Unless of course a glass of wine is involved."

"Well in that case, I think I will join you. Could be interesting!" quipped Caroline back, having checked her watch and decided that she could spare an hour. "But I will just have to make a phone call home and tell them to expect me a little later."

"Excellent. You make the call, I will tidy up here and then I'll meet you in reception in a couple of minutes" instructed Jessica, looking directly at Caroline with a smile that seemed to light up the whole room, or so Caroline thought.

* * *

Moving to a quiet table in the corner of the bar, the two women sat down and cheered one another before taking a long sip of wine from their respective glasses.

"Ahh, that's good!" they exclaimed almost simultaneously, causing them both to smile warmly at each other.

"Well, how are you feeling Caroline? Any better?" queried Jessica as she relaxed and sat back into the chair.

"Yes, I am feeling much better, honestly. The headache has gone and the stiffness in my neck has eased considerably. Look, I can even move it from side to side without flinching" replied Caroline as she demonstrated the movement with no signs of discomfort. Then, after a brief pause and with her eyes locked on Jessica's, she added "Thank you Jess – it seems you and my mother were right in encouraging me to take some action."

"My pleasure. I'm really glad it's helped. You were in quite a mess you know, and seriously, you will need to think about treatment on a semi-regular basis or you will be back to where you started."

"Okay, I hear what you are saying, and I think I could manage some more sessions with you, providing you are up to it?" queried Caroline with a semi-concerned look on her face.

"Err, yes, of course I could. But why do you ask that?" came Jessica's response, somewhat intrigued at Caroline's question and look of concern.

"Well, I know I don't know you that well Jess, but I do know when I hear tension in someone's voice. And I heard heaps of tension in your voice whilst you were massaging me, even though you were doing a great job trying to hide it. It just wasn't like you at all. Same with your face – you looked so anxious and concerned after the massage when I caught you staring at your computer."

Turning her eyes away from Caroline and looking down into her glass, Jessica wondered to herself whether she would come clean about her feelings and what had been going on inside her head before, during and after the massage. Deciding again that honesty was the only way to go with Caroline, she took a deep breath, looked back up at Caroline and began her explanation.

"Okay Caroline – it's like this. I like you very much as a person and I am also very, very attracted towards you. Seeing you half naked on my massage table stirred feelings within me that I have not felt for a very long time. At the same time, I am a professional and you were there to receive professional physiotherapist services from me – nothing else. In addition, I was very conscious of what you were probably feeling – that is, being touched by a woman again, possibly for the first time since the loss of Kate. I knew that must have been affecting you and I just wanted to ease that pain for you, by being as gentle and as caring as I could. So with all that going through my head, yes, I was rather anxious about keeping it all together, doing the right thing and making sure that I remained professional at all times. Does that make sense? And do you want to run away screaming now?"

With the warmest of smiles that Jessica had ever seen, Caroline focused her blue eyes on Jessica, placed her hand on Jessica's wrist and then quietly responded.

"Yes, it does make sense Jess. And no, I do not want to run away screaming – quite the contrary in fact. I appreciate your honesty very much and I will do the same – tell it as it is. I like being with you Jess, very much, but I also know that I have thought of you in ways other than as a friend. That was obvious to me again today as I lay there on your massage table. Your touches, your presence - you aroused me Jess, and yet you calmed me in a way that drew me closer towards you. I really don't know what to make of it all at the moment, and I really don't know if I am ready to let someone into my life. All I know is that I want to keep seeing you and I want to get to know you more – but beyond that, I cannot guarantee anything. Is that okay? Is that enough for you?"

On hearing that Caroline did feel something for her and wanted to keep seeing her, a sense of relief spread over Jessica. Putting down her glass, she placed her hand on top of Caroline's one that was holding her wrist.

"Yes Caroline, it is. I really don't want to walk away not knowing. I'd much rather give it a go and see where this takes us, one way or the other. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, as my Mum always used to say. What do you think? Are you up to it?"

"Err, yes, I think so" came Caroline's answer, rather thoughtfully, before pausing a few seconds and then adding with much more conviction "Yes, I am Jess, I really am. I just might need to take things slowly. Small steps, if you know what I mean."

"Yes, of course Caroline. I may need to do the same from time to time. We both have a history to deal with. We just need to let one another know – okay?

"Okay."

With both women feeling that a way forward had now been found, they sat looking and smiling at one another in silence.

"Can I get you ladies anything else?" queried the waiter whom they suddenly realised was standing beside them.

"Ah no, we're fine thanks" responded Jessica, as both she and Caroline pulled their hands apart, sat back in their chairs, and pretended to look as "normal" as possible. Acknowledging them with a nod, the waiter then turned and walked off in the other direction, causing both women to start giggling like schoolgirls.

"Oh, we're hopeless aren't we! Talk about being out and proud!" exclaimed Jessica between giggles.

"Yes. I think we will need to work on that" giggled Caroline back, as they both picked up their glasses again and returned to sipping their wine, now feeling much more comfortable in each other's company.

"So what are you up to this weekend?" queried Jessica, having finally stopped giggling.

"Nothing much at this stage. No doubt some shopping and time with Flora. Catching up on some school work too I imagine. Just the normal. Why do you ask?"

"Well, my older brother is having a small gathering to celebrate his birthday this Saturday night. I'm invited of course, as is anyone I would like to take along with me. So I wondered if you'd like to join me. It will just be a fun, casual night with drinks and finger food. Not a sit down dinner or anything formal. And it will be a chance for us to get to know one another a bit more. I'm sorry it's a bit late notice. I did mean to ask you earlier in the week but was not sure…"

"About where things were with us?" interjected Caroline.

"Yes, you could say that" admitted Jessica, leaning forward to look directly at Caroline in the hope it would encourage her to accept the invitation.

"I will need to arrange baby-sitting for Flora. But if I can do that, well then yes, I would very much like to join you Jess."

Responding with a broad grin, Jessica simply added "Great. Just let me know when you can."

"I will" returned Caroline happily. "But now, I had better get home before they send out the search party! It's been an interesting and enlightening couple of hours though Jess. Thank you."

"It certainly has" agreed Jessica. "And thank you too Caroline" she added, as she stood up with her hand outstretched towards Caroline.

With memories of Kate's outstretched hand at Celia and Alan's wedding suddenly racing through her mind, Caroline hesitated for a moment before recovering and reaching up to take Jessica's hand. Without any further words being said, they then walked out of the bar together, hand in hand.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

 ** _A/N Thanks again for your reviews – they really help and encourage me to keep writing. Hope you like this chapter. It is slightly longer than normal._**

"Hi Laura, I'm home" called out Caroline as she opened the front door and began striding down the hall.

"Hello, we're here" called back Laura just as Caroline entered the kitchen and saw her, sitting happily with Flora, patiently coaxing her to eat the last few spoonfuls of her dinner.

"Oh thanks Laura for filling in again" she said warmly, reaching out and taking Flora into her arms who in turn looked up at Caroline with a bright "Hello Mummy."

"Hello my gorgeous little girl. Have you been good for Laura today?"

"Yes she has Caroline" offered Laura, as Flora nodded in agreement and began playing with the buttons on Caroline's jacket. "And don't worry about getting home a bit later" continued Laura. "It's fine with me and not a problem at all when I don't have anything organised - like tonight and most week nights. You know me, I am not much of a party girl!"

"Thank goodness for that! But really Laura, I do appreciate you standing in at a moment's notice. And like I have said before, you must tell me if you do have something else on. I can always ask my mother."

"Yes, will do Caroline. By the way, your mum came looking for you tonight. I told her you had a physio appointment and she went away looking rather pleased with herself. Did I do the wrong thing?" queried Laura, cognisant of the "interesting" relationship that existed between Caroline and her mother.

"No, no, not at all Laura" replied Caroline with a chuckle, trying to put Laura at ease. "She was the one who suggested I see a physio and so she'll be pleased I did, especially given that I did not tell her I was going but she has found out anyway! It's all a big game that goes on between us. You know what it's like. Don't worry about it - okay?"

"Okay, if you say so" returned a relieved Laura.

"Yes, I do say so" confirmed Caroline with a hint of headmistress in her voice that caused them both to break into laughter, feeling as if they were having a secret joke behind Celia's back.

As the laughing subsided, Caroline's thoughts returned to the wine bar earlier in the evening and Jessica's invitation to the birthday party. Whilst she had said yes, she was inwardly apprehensive at getting entwined with family members so early in their relationship. Knowing that she could still get out of going by using the non-availability of a baby-sitter as an excuse, she had also been thinking on the drive home about how good she felt when she was with Jessica. The darkness in the back of her mind melted away and her cheeky, energised, high-spirited-self seemed to return. _She's good for you Caroline_ she thought to herself, as her mind drifted back to each of their meetings, replaying the smiles, the touches, the looks, the laughs, the tenderness and the overall honesty that existed between them. She could have stayed lost in such thoughts for some time, but upon hearing Laura making moves to retire upstairs, Caroline knew she had to make a decision about Saturday night. And she now clearly knew what that decision was.

"Laura, by the way, I've just remembered. I have another favour to ask. Could you babysit this coming Saturday night? I know it's short notice so if you are going out… "

"No Caroline, that is fine. I have nothing arranged and will be most happy to babysit. I might invite a girlfriend around and watch a movie or something if that is okay?"

"Yes, of course. Thanks Laura."

"Anytime Caroline" confirmed Laura. And then, with a backward glance before leaving the kitchen, she added "I'm glad to see that you are going out on a Saturday night Caroline - it's about time you did something for you and had some fun!"

Shooting back a surprised but amused glare at Laura as she disappeared from the room, Caroline then looked down at Flora in her arms. "Well, my little one. I think someone is trying to tell me that I am a boring old tart! I'll show them eh! But first, let's go and finish that story we have been reading." And with that, Caroline gave the little girl a big hug and then headed upstairs to Flora's bedroom.

* * *

Upon arriving at school the following morning, Caroline went straight to her office and picked up her phone to call Jessica. She had been thinking of her whilst driving in and was looking forward to hearing her voice, as well as letting her know about Saturday.

"Morning Jess. Just thought I'd catch you first thing and let you know that I'm okay to come along on Saturday night. Laura can baby-sit Flora and Lawrence is staying over at Angus's place. So it's all organised."

"Oh, that's great Caroline. Good to hear. I really think you'll enjoy the night. I can tell you more about it all on the way there. It's just over an hour's drive. How about I pick you up at six o'clock?

"Err, um, yes, but you don't know my address" stumbled Caroline, surprised at the thought of being picked up. She could not remember the last time where she had not been the driver when going out somewhere.

"Just text it through to me."

"Yes, of course."

"And Caroline – just one more thing?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Well, who is Lawrence and who is Angus?

Suddenly realising that she had never said anything to Jessica about the rest of her family, Caroline burst into apologetic laughter.

"Oh, I'm sorry Jess! Lawrence is my seventeen year old son and Angus is one of his friends.

I think it's time I gave you my potted history as well isn't it?"

"Yes, I think it is" agreed Jessica, pleased to hear Caroline laughing and sounding so at ease with her. She willed Saturday night to come along as quickly as possible, to when she would see Caroline again and learn more about this woman who had found a place in her heart.

* * *

Leaving Flora happily playing on the floor with a new toy, Caroline rose and went over to her walk-in wardrobe to decide upon the clothes that she was going to wear to the party. She had already been out shopping that morning and bought some new casual tops – the first for a while – and now she wanted to see which of her jeans, jackets and shoes would match up best with the new items.

After about half an hour, she had settled on a preferred outfit, comfortable that it had the right balance of smartness and casualness. With that now out of the way, she went back over to Flora knowing that her next task would not be so straight forward. Leaning over and offering her hand to the gorgeous little girl who was looking more like Kate day by day, she brightly said "Come on Flora, Let's go and see Grandma. Mummy needs to have a talk with her."

"I'm bringing toy too" responded Flora happily as she stood up, holding the toy in one hand and grasping Caroline's hand in the other.

"Good idea" confirmed Caroline as they headed downstairs, out the kitchen door and around to Celia's apartment. Once there, she knocked lightly on the door and waited for a response.

"Oh, it's you Caroline. Come in" came Celia's response as she appeared at the door, closely followed by Alan who mouthed a "Hello love" and beamed his lovely, warm smile in her direction.

As Celia opened the door for them both to enter, Flora quickly responded, lifting her arms to give Celia a hug before running over to Alan, falling into his arms and giving him a big hug as well.

"Well, she's happy to see us!" exclaimed Celia, casting a cynical glance at Caroline.

"Oh Mum. So am I. Don't start that!" Caroline fired back, telling herself at the same time to keep calm and to not allow her mother to rile her up.

"Well, you have not been over at all this week. And when I have dropped around to see you, you have not been there. Didn't Laura tell you?"

"Yes, she did Mum. It's just been one of those weeks - very busy."

"But you managed to get to the physio I hear. How did it go?" queried Celia, obviously still pleased with the fact that Caroline had taken up her suggestion.

"It went very well" replied Caroline, smiling inside at the thought of how well "it" had went. But not wanting Celia to pick up on anything, she quickly continued.

"I really have been feeling much better. Thanks for encouraging me to go Mum."

"I'm still good for some things you know!"

"Yes, of course you are!" she conceded with a big grin.

"Now, would you like a cuppa?"

"No Mum, thanks anyway. I have a few things to do this afternoon and need to keep moving. But I wanted to let you know that I am going out tonight and that Laura will be here looking after Flora."

"Oh, going out on a Saturday night? You have not done that for ages. Where are you off to?"

"I'm just going to a small birthday party."

"Anyone I know?" queried Celia, obviously wanting to hear more about what Caroline was up to.

Taking a deep breath, Caroline decided to tell Celia as it was. She was well and truly over trying to sweeten things up for her.

"Yes, it's Jessica Dalton. Your physio - and my physio - as it turns out. I have caught up with her a couple of times during the week and she has invited me to her brother's birthday party."

"Oh really?" came Celia's questioning response, as she studied Caroline's face attempting to learn more about what this Jessica woman meant to Caroline.

"Yes Mum. I am looking forward to getting out and meeting some new people" replied Caroline cheerily, as she turned and held out her hand for Flora, making sure to hide any hint of emotion or feeling from Celia.

"Are you off then? We've hardly seen you!" complained Celia, obviously agitated at not being able to extract more from Caroline.

"Yes, sorry Mum. We will drop by and have a cuppa with you tomorrow" Caroline said brightly as she led Flora to the door, waving to Alan as they went.

* * *

As six o'clock approached, Caroline began to feel more and more like a teenager going out on a first date. She had the jitters in her stomach and she kept checking herself in the mirror, knowing full well that nothing had changed since she had checked two minutes previously.

Finally, just after six, she saw a smart white Audi SUV pull into her driveway. Gathering her bag and her nerves, she walked down the hallway and into the living room where she bid farewell to Laura and her little girl. She then opened the front door and went out to meet Jessica.

"Hello there. Nice car" she said brightly, opening the passenger door and getting in.

"Thanks. And hello to you too. You look great by the way" replied Jessica, as she turned and smiled at Caroline.

Pleased to receive the complement, Caroline simply smiled back at Jessica, allowing their eyes to linger on each other for a few seconds.

"Okay, let's get going" Jessica piped up as she returned her concentration to driving, carefully manoeuvring the Audi around Caroline's Jeep and out of the driveway. Slowly accelerating away, she then shot a quick, cheeky glance at Caroline before adding "And I am ready to get going with that potted history of yours whenever you are!"

"All right, all right, just let me get sorted!" responded an amused Caroline as she settled into her seat, quietly thinking to herself - _This could be interesting!_

* * *

After about an hour and a quarter drive, Jessica turned the Audi into the laneway leading up to her brother's property.

It had been an interesting and revealing trip for Jessica, listening to Caroline as she reeled off her so-called potted history. She had heard about her marriage to John, about her two boys - William and Lawrence, and about her eventual divorce. And of course, Caroline had touched on her relationship with Kate and their early days together including their break-up, the difficulties they encountered with Celia, and their subsequent reunion. She realised now, more than ever, that Caroline's journey over the last few years had been a very difficult one, and she fully appreciated why Caroline had spoken about taking things slowly when they were last together.

Bringing the car to a stop, Jessica placed her hand on Caroline's knee, announcing brightly "Well, we're here. Time to meet some of my tribe!"

"I'm ready" replied Caroline confidently having been versed in the last ten minutes of the trip about Jessica's brother, wife and family plus the other guests that Jessica expected to be there. Caroline thought they sounded an interesting collection of people and, to her surprise, she found herself looking forward to the social interaction and to mixing with new people – something she had not felt like doing for a long time.

Placing her hand over the top of Jessica's, Caroline realised that she owed most of this new found interest in life to the woman beside her who was looking at her intently. Squeezing Jessica's hand tightly, she tilted her head and looked back at Jessica with the warmest of smiles before simply saying "Come on then. What are you waiting for? Let's go!"

* * *

Some four hours later, Jessica had just finished helping her sister-in-law Claire clean up in the kitchen. Thinking that it was getting late and that they needed to leave soon, she went in search of Caroline whom she had left happily chatting with other guests half an hour earlier.

Walking back into the large lounge room, she spotted Caroline talking animatedly to her brother Doug. The two of them were both laughing, apparently at some story Doug was telling, and Jessica could not help but feel genuine happiness as she watched on, so pleased to see Caroline enjoying herself.

Spotting Jessica across the room, Caroline beckoned for her to join them.

"Sorry to break up the party, but I think it's time we thought about going" she said apologetically as she reached the duo.

"Yes, I think it is" agreed Caroline, having looked at her watch and seen that it was nearing midnight.

"Well, it's been really lovely meeting you Caroline. I hope we see you again soon. Come and say good bye to Claire" directed Doug as he took both Caroline's and Jessica's arms and began to lead them back to the kitchen.

They had only gone a few steps when they saw Claire walking towards them with the phone to her ear.

"Yes, yes, I will tell them. Thanks for letting us know Peter. Bye for now." they heard her saying just as they came up alongside her.

"What is it Claire?" Doug queried, aware that something was amiss.

That was Peter and Frances – they left here about 20 minutes ago and they wanted to let us know that there has been a bad accident on the motorway and it is now completely closed. Cars are being re-directed all over the place and they said it is a real mess. And to top it off, it is very foggy out there. Peter thought that any of our remaining guests who are heading that way should try and find somewhere local to stay overnight."

"Well, you two!" piped up Doug, looking at Jessica and Caroline with a gleeful smile on his face. "Looks like it's the barn for the night! What do you think Claire?"

"Yes, fully agree" confirmed Claire, turning her eyes to the two women who were both looking somewhat shell-shocked.

"You'll be fine there" Claire continued. "It's got its own bathroom and the bed is very comfortable. You will find some tooth paste and spare toothbrushes in the bathroom cupboard, and I will just go and fetch you a couple of my nightshirts for you to wear. Is there anything else you can think of that you'll need?

Taking a few seconds to comprehend the situation, Jessica then looked at Caroline with an amused but questioning look on her face as if to say "Are you okay with this?"

Realising there appeared to be no other solution to the situation that they found themselves in, Caroline summoned her courage and turned to Claire, politely responding "Well, um, I don't think so Claire. And thank you."

"Yes, thank you Claire. That is very kind of you" added Jessica, daring not to look at Caroline in case she broke down into nervous laughter.

"Excellent!" declared Claire. "I'll go and get the nightshirts and be back in a minute."

* * *

After cleaning her teeth and changing into the borrowed nightshirt, Caroline opened the bathroom door and walked back into the main part of the barn. There, she saw Jessica, who had also changed into the borrowed nightshirt and was standing at the base of the bed. Hearing Caroline approach, Jessica turned around and faced Caroline with a questioning look on her face.

"Yes?" offered Caroline, somewhat nervous at what was going through Jessica's head.

"I was just wondering what side of the bed you prefer?" offered Jessica, with a smile breaking over her face.

Oh, err, left side as you look at the bed – if that makes sense" answered Caroline, relieved at the simpleness of the question before beginning to laugh as she took in the picture of them both, standing there in the borrowed nightshirts.

"What's so funny, may I ask?"

"Us, we are! Don't we look gorgeous in these?"

"Speak for yourself Dr Mckenzie-Dawson! I think mine suits me rather well. And it's warm and practical - just what a girl needs in these sorts of situations!"

"Oh go and clean your teeth" fired back Caroline, trying to sound serious and headmistress-like.

"Will do Miss" answered Jessica back cheekily, picking up on the role play. Then, with a backward glance as she disappeared into the bathroom, she added, "And by the way Miss, the right side is fine with me!"

* * *

Still smiling, Caroline walked over to the bedside table and checked her mobile phone to see if Laura had responded to her text message. Sure enough, there was a brief response from her, glad to know that Caroline was safe and was staying over for the night whilst confirming that all was fine at home. _Thank goodness for Laura_ Caroline thought to herself as she climbed into bed and pulled the duvet up to her chest. Feeling warm and cosy, she thought about the evening and how much she had enjoyed being with Jessica and her family. It had been a fun night and she had felt so relaxed being in Jessica's company, just as she did now. Despite the strangeness of the surroundings in which she now found herself, Caroline realised how at ease she felt with Jessica. Her caring, light-hearted and understanding manner always seemed to come to the fore at just the right time and in just the right way.

A few moments later, Caroline heard an opening door and she looked over to see Jessica emerging from the bathroom and begin walking towards the bed, and to her. All of a sudden, she felt the relaxed feelings in her body being replaced by sexual tension and desire. Whilst she had known from the start that she was attracted to Jessica, this was the first time that her body had reacted in such a strong, physical way. In fact she had not felt such stirrings since Kate, and the intensity with which they now flowed through her body surprised her.

Sensing the growing tension in the room, both hers and Caroline's, Jessica sat on the bed before slowly swinging her legs around and lying down, pulling the duvet up to her chest just as Caroline had done. For a few seconds, they both lay there in silence, looking at the ceiling, both very, very conscious of each other's bodies lying alongside.

"You okay?" Jessica queried, with her eyes still locked on the ceiling.

'Err, yes, I think so" came Caroline's response, almost said as a whisper.

"Good. I'll turn the light out then" returned Jessica as she lifted her arm and flicked off the bedside light that had been illuminating the room.

Lying there in the darkness, both women remained motionless as they absorbed their night-time surroundings, including the scent, warmth and presence of each other.

 _This is unbearable_ thought Caroline as she felt the stirrings within her body becoming stronger. Taking a deep breath in the hope that it would help calm her, she quickly glanced sideways, only to see Jessica looking back at her intently in the silvery moonlight that now flooded the room.

In what seemed like an age but was only a few seconds, they both continued to take in one another before Jessica slowly lifted her head from the pillow and leaned over, kissing Caroline softly on the lips. She then pulled back, opened her eyes and looked into Caroline's, as if questioning whether she should continue.

Before Jessica had a chance to decide one way or the other, Caroline moved her arm and placed her hand behind Jessica's head. She then gently pulled her towards her and their lips met again - this time with more passion, depth and urgency - causing both women to tremble and their bodies to move sensuously as they felt waves of passion course through their bodies.

Pausing to catch their breath, they pulled apart slightly and looked back at each other, both trying to determine how the other was dealing with the situation that they now found themselves in. As a smile began to appear on Caroline's face, Jessica gained courage and took the plunge, quietly asking "Are you still okay?"

"I am very okay thank you" answered Caroline, as she shifted herself sideways bringing her whole body into contact with Jessica's. Then, pressing her head against the side of Jessica's, she whispered into her ear "And what about you? Are you okay?"

Without answering, Jessica turned her head and began kissing Caroline again, at the same time wrapping her arms and long legs around her and pulling her as closely as she could against herself. With the passion fast rising between them, it was not long before both women began searching for and undoing the buttons on each other's nightshirts. Having made the openings, they each then slipped their hands inside to caress breasts and stomachs and thighs that moved and reacted spontaneously to each other's touches.

"You are so beautiful" gasped Jessica, as she ran her hands over Caroline's silky skin.

"And you are unbelievable Jess, I never thought I would feel like this again" returned Caroline, suddenly conscious of the emotion that had bubbled up within her and the tears that were running down her cheeks.

Realising exactly what was going on in Caroline's head, Jessica pulled Caroline closer and held her as tightly as she could, putting her passion on hold in order to provide the comfort and support that she knew Caroline needed. As she lay there holding Caroline, she allowed herself to think of her own situation and assess what affect, if any, the memories of Jane had on her now. Whilst she accepted there were some lingering feelings lurking in the background, she also knew they were tainted with anger and bitterness. She and Jane had parted because Jane had wanted to. It was so different to Caroline and Kate who had been torn apart by circumstances completely beyond their control. Thinking about it now, Jessica could only imagine the loss that Caroline had experienced, and she automatically wrapped her arms tighter around her.

After a few minutes of silence, Jessica felt Caroline stir and, relaxing her hold, she looked down and saw Caroline smiling back at her lovingly.

"I'm all right Jess, I really am. Yes, memories are hard to deal with at times but being here with you, like this, it is just so lovely and it feels so right - as if someone or something has brought us together."

"We can stop Caroline if you …."

"No, I do not want to stop Jess. I want you Jess. That is what I want."

And with that, the two women embraced and resumed kissing and touching one another, delighting in discovering each other's bodies, before eventually bringing one another to passionate climaxes that left them lying together breathless on the bed.

* * *

Waking up the following morning as the sunlight streamed in through the barn windows, Caroline felt a little disorientated before she realised where she was. Opening her eyes properly, she smiled to herself as she saw Jessica stretched out on the bed beside her. She was lying on her side facing away from her, with the duvet only half covering her strong, beautiful back. Reaching out, she gently touched Jessica on her shoulder before leaning forward and kissing her on the back of the neck. Immediately she felt Jessica stir, sighing softly as she rolled over, opened her eyes and focused on Caroline.

"Good morning. That was a lovely way to be woken" she said quietly, reaching out her own arm to brush some strands of tousled hair from Caroline's face.

"And you are a lovely sight to see when waking up" replied Caroline, content to lie there and simply look back at this woman who had entered her heart. It was only after several minutes of them both just taking one another in, that Caroline realised Jessica was smiling broadly and beginning to giggle.

"What's so funny?" queried Caroline with a look of half smile, half frown.

"Oh Caroline, I was just thinking" began Jessica as she grabbed Caroline's hand and held it tightly.

"Yes?" prompted Caroline.

"Well, I think I started thinking and dreaming about making love to you from the moment I first met you. But in all those thoughts and dreams, I never imagined it happening in my brother's barn and in this old squeaky bed, with us wearing my sister-in-law's very utilitarian, borrowed night-shirts. The whole picture just struck me now and sorry, but it made me laugh."

Seeing the funny side, Caroline also started to giggle and, before they knew it, both women were laughing loudly and rolling around on the bed together, tickling each other here and there to add to their amusement.

"Enough, enough!" cried out Jessica finally, grabbing Caroline's hands and stopping them from reaching her ticklish spots. Gasping for breath, she then added. "We'd better think about getting you home. Your family will be wondering what has become of you."

Also recovering from the laughing and tickling bout, Caroline smiled warmly back at Jessica.

"Yes, I suppose we had. Or you may have my mother to answer to."

"From what you have told me about your mother, that may not be a pretty sight! Come on Caroline, get moving!" And with that, Jessica began trying to push Caroline out of the bed, causing them both to collapse into another bout of tickling and laughing.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

 ** _A/N: Many thanks again for your feedback - guests and members alike. And my apologies for not responding to recent member reviews. Just been busy with life and writing another chapter!_**

Relaxing in the passenger seat, Caroline looked out the window and watched the countryside race past. They were on the now re-opened motorway and heading back to Harrogate having left Jessica's brother's place about thirty minutes earlier. In that time, the two women had chatted together happily, both very conscious of but also very comfortable with the significant development that had occurred in their relationship overnight. An easy silence now descended upon them, as Jessica slowed the Audi and concentrated on navigating it around a series of trucks that had built up around one of the motorway exits.

Watching her out of the side of her eyes, Caroline could not help but think how fortunate she had been to meet Jessica. She was an extremely attractive, intelligent, humorous and caring woman, and Caroline wondered, not for the first time, why Jessica was not already with someone. With this thought in mind, Caroline realised that her knowledge of Jessica's past relationships was very sketchy. Debating with herself as to whether now was a good time to raise such a topic, she finally decided to take the plunge.

"Jess?"

"Yes?" responded Jessica, glancing quickly at Caroline as she eased the Audi out of the traffic and back up to cruising speed.

"Can you tell me a little about your previous loves? You don't need to go into any gory details, but I feel you know quite a lot about my past now, whereas I know hardly anything about yours. I just remember you saying that you've had some long term relationships and that the last one ended a few years ago. Is that right?"

"Yes, that's right. And yes, I'll tell you some more, but there isn't a lot to tell really. Her name was Jane and we were together for nearly seven years. I thought we were going to grow old together – we were in love, we were happy, had a lovely home together and a good set of friends, et cetera, et cetera. It was all perfect, or near perfect, from where I stood. And then one Saturday morning, she just announced it was over and by the end of that weekend, she had moved out of the house and was completely gone. She refused to enter into any discussion and I still don't know to this day what happened and why she up and left.

"Heavens Jess. That must have been awful. How bizarre to just leave like that. And you have no idea why?"

"No, not really. I've thought about it so much of course, trying to identify something. I have a couple of theories, but nothing concrete. It was just like she wanted to end that life and start again somewhere else. She even cut all contact with our friends."

"So, what are your theories?" asked Caroline, before adding "And please tell me to mind my own business if you don't want to talk about it" as she turned and looked at Jessica, wanting to make sure that the conversation was not upsetting her.

"I'm okay. I can talk about it now Caroline, but I couldn't for a long time. I felt such a fool when I did talk to people because you could see what was going through their minds – like how come I was so stupid not to have picked up that anything was wrong? Well, there had not been anything wrong. We weren't arguing, we were still going out and enjoying things together, and all was fine in the bedroom – if you know what I mean" as Jessica paused and shot a quick glance at Caroline.

"Yes, I do. Please go on" replied Caroline with a look of half smile, half shock in the hope of lightening the mood of the conversation.

Quickly seeing Caroline's response, Jessica let out a brief, nervous-sounding chuckle as if trying to relieve some tension in herself.

"Well, the only aspect of our lives that caused some contention from time to time was her work. She was extremely ambitious and she wanted to climb up the ladder as quickly as possible. She worked very long hours and often attended functions at night and all that sort of thing. I did as a result sometimes raise it with her and tell her she needed to cut back and that is wasn't worth it. Thinking back now, I wonder whether she thought I was going to drag her down and be a weight around her neck in her goal to get to the top. I just don't know, and never will know. And that's how it is – end of story" concluded Jessica, with her voice suddenly tinged with a note of anger and sadness.

Quickly gathering that Jessica did not want to talk about Jane any more, Caroline responded by reaching over and placing her hand on Jessica's shoulder, giving it a gentle rub.

After a few minutes of silence, Jessica responded in her cheery, easy-going voice.

"I'm okay Caroline, really. It happened over four years ago. It's history now, and I've got better things in my life to think about. Like you for instance, and the fact that you should ring Laura and let her know you will be home in about another thirty minutes. Tell her we were later getting away this morning than expected – and it was all your fault!"

Relieved that Jessica appeared to be back to her normal, cheeky self, Caroline gave Jessica's shoulder a reassuring squeeze before moving her arm back and reaching for the mobile phone in her handbag. Then, with images of their morning antics flashing into her head, she smiled and quickly fired back "May I remind you Miss Dalton that it takes two to tango!""

* * *

As Jessica brought the Audi to a stop in Caroline's driveway, both women saw the front door open and Harry come racing out, closely followed by Flora.

"Looks like you've been missed" Jessica said cheerily, as she turned and smiled at Caroline.

"Yes, it looks that way doesn't it" responded Caroline, smiling back and then adding "Don't go straight away Jess. Come in and have a cuppa with us. You can also meet Laura and explain to her what really happened this morning!"

"Okay, I will. Thanks very much. Show me the way!" she responded gleefully, opening the car door and stepping out to meet Harry and Flora who had both reached the car and were madly wanting attention.

"Hello you two!" Jessica called out to them both, just as Caroline walked around and joined her by the side of the car. Bending over, Caroline then swept Flora up into her arms whilst Jessica bent over and picked up Harry who proceeded to try and lick her face all over.

"Wow, are they always so excited to see you?" Jessica queried as she leaned over and said hello to Flora who had her arms wrapped around Caroline's neck and was chuckling with delight.

"Yes, this is about par for the course" replied Caroline laughing before linking her free arm into Jessica's and leading her towards the front door.

* * *

"So how was the party?" enquired Laura as the three women sat at the kitchen bench enjoying a freshly brewed cup of coffee.

"It was great" began Caroline, before hearing a knock at the back door which stopped her in her tracks. Knowing exactly what that knock meant, she shot a look at Jessica as if to say "Here we go!" and then turned towards the door calling out "Morning Mum. Come on in."

"Morning Caroline. You're back then? I came round earlier but Laura told me you'd not made it home last night" came Celia's rather terse reply as she opened the door and made her way up to the bench.

"Yes, we certainly are back. You remember Jessica? We are just having a cuppa. Would you like one?" returned Caroline cheerfully, picking up on her mother's tone and refusing to not be drawn in by it.

"Of course I remember Jessica. I am not senile yet you know Caroline!" Then, turning to Jessica, Celia offered a polite but curt "Hello Jessica. I didn't expect to catch up here with you."

Hearing Celia put emphasis on the word "here", Jessica suppressed a chuckle before quickly deciding to respond as honestly and openly as possible.

"No, I daresay you didn't Celia. But Caroline and I have seen one another a few times over the last week and we struck up a friendship so I asked her along to my brother's birthday party last night. It was a fun evening but there was a motorway closure and my brother insisted we stay over. But we're back now, all safe and sound."

"So I see" huffed back Celia.

Deciding a change in subject was required, Jessica brightly continued on. "And by the way Celia, how has your hip been? You look to be moving quite freely."

"It's fine thank you" came Celia's short response, as she looked back and forth between Caroline and Jessica, attempting to pick up some sign as to what was going on between them.

Knowing they were being studied, both women avoided making eye contact, knowing full well that if they did, the laughter within them would be impossible to control. Finally, after what seemed a very long period of time, Jessica managed to pull herself together and utter some words.

"Well, I'd better get on home. It was lovely to see you again Celia. And I hope that hip keeps behaving."

Receiving a nod and a half smile from Celia, Jessica then looked at Caroline who had turned her back on Celia and was walking towards her, a smile breaking across her face.

"I'll see you out Jess. It's just this way, back down the hall" she offered, gesturing for Jessica to go first.

Once outside the front door, both women covered their mouths to stifle their laughing.

"I shouldn't laugh but goodness, she is a bit scary isn't she? And she certainly doesn't want to be left out of anything does she?"

"Yes, she can be and no, she doesn't, not when it comes to my love life!" agreed Caroline, looking at Jessica with a raised eye brow which made them both let out a few more chuckles, slightly embarrassed ones this time. Recovering quickly, Caroline then leaned forward and kissed Jessica lightly on the lips before drawing back and looking intently into her eyes.

"Thank you Jess. Last night was wonderful, in every way. It really was."

"It was for me too Caroline. Thank you" she said seriously, before waiting a few seconds and then adding, with a cheeky sparkle flashing across her eyes, "We must do it again some time!"

"Gosh, you are incorrigible! How about you come round for dinner on Tuesday night? I'd like you to meet Lawrence and I have no after-school meetings that day. So if you're lucky, I will be able to get home and cook something up for us. Nothing special mind you."

"Sounds great to me. And I will bring a bottle. Shall we say seven o'clock?"

Nodding her head in agreement, Caroline smiled broadly at Jessica as she turned and walked towards her car, waving her hand in the air as she went.

* * *

Returning to the kitchen, Caroline found Celia sitting at the bench sipping a cup of tea that she had poured herself.

"Where's Laura gone?" she asked as she spotted Flora playing with a collection of toys in the family room.

"Oh, she has just gone upstairs. She asked if I could keep an eye on the little one. I think she said she was going out this afternoon. You know Caroline, I think you are pushing your luck with that girl asking her to do all those extra hours."

Pulling up opposite Celia, Caroline stood there looking at her mother as she put one hand on the bench and the other on her hip. Why, she thought to herself, does her mother always have to provide such negative input on how she manages her life? Deciding that she was in no mood to let such comments go by without responding, she drew herself up tall and began her reply, in as calmer voice as she could manage.

"You know Mum, I really wish you'd stop commenting on how I run my life. It's insulting and completely unnecessary. I am forty eight years of age, I run a large and very successful school which includes managing nearly two hundred staff every day of the week. For you to suggest that I cannot manage my live-in nanny is just ludicrous."

"Well, it seems to me that you've taken your eye off the ball this last week or so, with all that running around with her" retorted Celia, nodding her head in the direction of the driveway where Jessica's car had been.

"Her name is Jessica!" fired back Caroline immediately, trying to keep her voice down given that Flora was not far away.

"And please don't start being like that all over again" she continued, leaning over the bench towards Celia. "You know that we have been down this path before and it almost finished our relationship. And I am telling you now, if you are unable to openly accept and welcome someone whom I bring into my life, then it will be the end of us. I am too old and too weary to keep going down that path with you."

"What do you mean by bring into your life?" queried Celia in response, with a mixture of concern and surprise on her face.

"I mean "start a relationship with!" And yes, I am starting a relationship with Jessica - I want you to know that. It's early days but we enjoy one another's company a great deal and I am very much hoping that things will develop further between us."

"Oh Caroline! But it's not that long since Kate…."

"It's two years Mum. I know that, I know it very well in fact. And I also know that life has to go on. I did not go looking for this, but it has happened and it feels right. And I also know that if Jessica was a man, you would not have any qualms about me starting a new relationship. Isn't that correct? So don't go using _"it's not that long"_ speech as some form of reason why I should not be seeing Jessica."

"Well, er, I don't know what to say Caroline" was all that Celia could utter.

"Mum, you could just start by wishing me well. That would be truly wonderful."

Pausing for a moment, Celia turned her eyes downward as if needing some time to absorb the situation and what Caroline had just said. Yes, she admitted to herself, she would not have blinked an eyelid if Caroline had announced she was seeing a man. In fact she had hoped for some months now for just that to happen. But no, it was another woman that had come along and caught her daughter's eye. _Is that so bad?_ She thought to herself. After all, Caroline seemed to do better choosing women that she had done choosing men. There was also no denying that Kate had been good for Caroline and that they had loved one another very much. She had never seen Caroline as happy as when she was with Kate, nor had she seen her so utterly devastated when she lost Kate.

Turning her eyes back up to look at Caroline, Celia saw the pain and anger in her daughter's eyes and it suddenly dawned on her that perhaps enough was enough. The time for questioning her daughter's choices and lifestyle had passed. She was a beautiful, intelligent and very capable woman who meant the world to her. She did not want to lose her, and if that meant changing the way she thought about things, well so be it, that is what she needed to do. With such thoughts becoming clearer in her mind, Celia took a deep breath and quietly responded.

"All right love. I will try."

"You need to do more than try this time Mum. You need to make it happen. And in every way – genuine acceptance, support, understanding. Because if you don't, it will be the end of us. It really will. I am not going to go through what we went through last time. Never again."

And with that steely response, Caroline moved away from the bench and walked over to join Flora. Once there, she bent over and picked her up, saying brightly "Come on my lovely one. Let's go and have a play with Harry in the garden."

* * *

"What's her name again?" queried Lawrence as he busied himself laying the table for dinner.

"Jessica, but call her Jess. I'm sure she would prefer that" called back Caroline from the kitchen as she finished adding the final ingredients to the casserole that she had quickly prepared after racing home from school.

"Okay. Do you need me to put out bread and butter plates as well?"

"No, not tonight darling" she answered happily, pleased to hear the relaxed tone in Lawrence's voice. It was only last night that she had sat him down on the couch next to her and told him about Jessica. Whilst his initial response had been one of surprise, he had then settled down and politely asked questions about her, including how they had met, where she lived and whether she had any children of her own. Finally, as the questions ran out, he had looked straight back at her and then said, in a slightly hesitant voice, "I'm all right Mum. I understand things a lot more now and I know how to deal with anyone who tries to razz me up. I also know it was wrong and hurtful how I treated you and Kate, especially in the early days. And whilst I really don't get it myself, you know, um, you liking another woman, I did see that you were happy with Kate. And I like seeing you happy. You are much more fun and you don't nag me as much!"

On hearing those words, Caroline had simply leaned forward and wrapped him in her arms, whispering "Thank you" in his ear. She could hardly believe how much Lawrence had matured over the last two years and she had suddenly felt a bit guilty, wondering whether she had been too wrapped up in herself and Flora, unable to fully appreciate the changes that had occurred within her younger son.

"I think she's here" called out Lawrence, awakening Caroline from her thoughts.

Feeling the excitement building within her, Caroline made her way to the front door and opened it. Seeing Jessica standing there with a bottle of wine in her hand brought an immediate smile to her face and a sense of calmness to her body.

"Come in" she said warmly, taking Jessica's free hand as she stepped forward into the house.

"Mmm, something smells good!" exclaimed Jessica, before adding in a much quieter tone that only she and Caroline could hear. "Hello there. Lovely to see you again. I am bit nervous though about meeting Lawrence. Have you told him about us?"

"Yes, I have, and it went well. He's cool, as they say. And I have also told Mum and Laura."

"Really! My word, you have been busy!" replied Jessica, somewhat surprised. "And how did they react?" she inquired, seemingly not wanting to proceed any further into the house until she knew what type of reception awaited her.

"Well, Laura was fine of course. And Mum, well, I think the message is finally starting to sink in. Only time will tell. But don't worry about that now. It's only you, me, Flora, Lawrence, and Laura here tonight. Okay?"

"Yes, very okay" came Jessica's response, as she placed a light kiss on the side of Caroline's cheek before following her down the hallway and into the kitchen.

* * *

A few hours later, both Caroline and Jessica collapsed happily on the couch in the lounge room. The evening had gone well with easy chatter and laughing. There had also been a surprise visit from Celia, who had popped in to say hello to Jessica having seen her car parked in the driveway. It had been a quick but pleasant exchange, with Celia appearing genuinely friendly and accepting. Caroline had stood and watched on, somewhat amazed but inwardly delighted at what she was seeing. Upon her mother's departure, she saw Jessica looking at her as if to say "How did you manage to get that to happen?" Caroline had simply smiled back and then raised her eyes as if to say "I don't know, but let's hope it continues!"

Relaxing now on the couch, it was Caroline who spoke first "Well Miss Dalton, you seemed to have survived all that quite well."

Grinning back at Caroline, Jessica responded with a nod and then went to move closer to Caroline, only to be met by Harry who had jumped up on the couch between them.

Beginning to laugh, Jessica began patting Harry and then looked into his face asking "What do you think you are doing you hairy scoundrel? Trying to protect your lovely mistress from me?"

"Yes, I am sure that's what he is doing" chuckled Caroline as she too reached over and began to pat Harry. "I've trained him well, so be careful!"

"I'm petrified" came Jessica's amused, sarcastic response, just as she felt her hand come into contact with Caroline's on Harry's soft, hairy back. The feelings of desire for the woman beside her suddenly surged through her body. She was however slightly unsure whether she should make the first move in Caroline's house, and so she decided to try and control herself.

"He needs a clipping Caroline" she stumbled out, unable to think of anything more relevant to say.

"Yes, he does!" agreed Caroline bursting into laughter, also aware of the electricity that had been building between them but now very amused by the way Jessica had attempted to manage it.

"The clipper I used to go to has moved away and I have been looking for a new one, but no success yet" added Caroline between chuckles, having decided to go along with Jessica's subversion plot for the time-being.

"Well. I'll clip him for you! I'm only working in the morning tomorrow. How about you get Laura to drop him off at my place early afternoon and then you can pick him up on your way home from work?"

"Really, are you serious?" asked Caroline who had managed to stop laughing but was now looking at Jessica with a combination of amusement and adoration.

"Yes, I am. I used to clip Maddie and am quite good at it actually."

"Well, you are a woman of many talents aren't you?"

"You haven't seen the half of them yet!"

"Well, I look forward to that!" Caroline responded after a slight pause in which both women felt the mood of the moment change. Pushing Harry down off the couch, Caroline moved closer to Jessica, resting her body against Jessica's before lifting her head to kiss her slowly and sensuously on the lips.

With the passion immediately building within them, Caroline gently pushed Jessica down on the couch and began manouvering her own body so that she was lying alongside. It was then that she opened her eyes for just a moment and saw the picture of Kate that was sitting on the corner unit. Letting out a small gasp, she immediately stopped what she was doing and sat up, with her eyes still locked on Kate's picture.

"What's wrong?" queried Jessica quietly, as she sensed the change in Caroline and opened her eyes to see a look of anguish on Caroline's face.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this" responded Caroline as she lifted herself off Jessica and stood up beside the couch, with her head now bowed.

Turning to look in the direction where Caroline had been staring, Jessica saw the picture of Kate and immediately realised what had occurred. Without any hesitation, she picked herself up from the couch and stood next to Caroline, placing an arm lightly around her in the hope that it may calm her.

After a few minutes of silence, Caroline lifted her head and looked into Jessica's eyes. It was a look of sadness, confusion and guilt which caused Jessica to hold her tighter and softly say "It's all right Caroline. I understand. We knew there could be times like this. Do you want me to go and leave you alone with your thoughts?"

"Yes. I think so" she tentatively said, before drawing herself up and answering more convincingly "Yes, I think that would be best."

"Okay. I'll let myself out. I'll call you tomorrow. Is that all right?"

"Yes. Please do. And thank you Jess – for your understanding."

Stepping apart, Jessica placed a light and very gentle kiss on Caroline's forehead. She then walked slowly towards the door, glancing back just once, only to see that Caroline had moved over to the corner unit and was standing there, with the picture of Kate held fast between her hands.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

When the alarm went off on Wednesday morning, Caroline was already wide awake. In fact, she had been awake for most of the night, lost in a whirl of memories, tears and emotions that she had struggled to manage and make sense of.

As she turned the alarm off, she began to think about the day ahead and the back-to-back meetings that awaited her at school. With a sense of panic growing within her, she wondered how on earth she was going to cope. It was not the pressure of work that was upsetting her, it was the thought of what had happened last night. She was still very confused despite having gone over the evening so many times, attempting to analyse why she had frozen and sent Jessica home, so abruptly and so unexpectedly.

Of course, she had been affected by seeing Kate's picture, but the way in which it had affected her last night still surprised her. There was not a day went by when she did not look at that picture, often silently saying hello as she passed by. And over the last week or so since meeting Jessica, she had imagined when looking at the picture that Kate's smile had broadened, as if supporting and encouraging her to continue. It was stupid, she knew, but she had certainly felt that something was telling her it was okay to be with Jessica. And that had been the case on Saturday night at Jessica's brother's place. Sure, there had been some moments when she felt a little emotional, but nothing like what had occurred last night.

It was of course the first time she had been physically close with anyone in the house since losing Kate. But, as Caroline now admitted to herself, it was not just the physical side of things that had contributed to her reaction last night. It was really about how she felt inside. No longer did she just like Jessica and enjoy her company, she knew she was falling in love with her. And the implications of that had hit home last night when she glanced Kate's picture. All of a sudden, she had felt that she was turning her back on the woman she had loved, casting her adrift and replacing her with another. That, she realised, was what had made her pull away from Jessica, overcome with guilt and confusion and completely unable to continue.

Slowly sitting up in bed, Caroline put her head in her hands, desperately trying to decide on a way forward. She knew she did not want to lose Jessica, nor did she want a repeat of last night. The only option, it seemed, was for her to deal with the conflict. The conflict of wanting to love Jessica without feeling that she was forgetting or abandoning everything that Kate had meant to her. She was not sure she was ready or strong enough for this, nor did she really know how she would approach it, but she did know that she could not continue as she was.

With such thoughts in her head, Caroline lifted her weary head, pulled herself up out of bed and began to make her way to the bathroom. It was just as she was about to open the bathroom door that she heard her phone beep indicating that a text message had arrived. Walking back to the bedside table, she picked up the phone and saw the message from Jessica.

"Thinking of you. Hope you are OK. Will call later this morning."

Knowing the type of day that awaited her at school, Caroline immediately decided to call Jessica back. The phone had only just started to ring when she heard Jessica's voice, sounding both anxious and nervous.

"Caroline? Hello?"

"Yes, it's me Jess. I just saw your text. Thank you for that. But I thought I had better call straight back as I am in meetings all day and won't get a chance to talk to you."

"Yes, yes, of course Caroline" Jessica stumbled out, so relieved to hear Caroline's voice before managing to settle her nerves and continuing. "I won't keep you but I did just want to let you know that I am here for you if you need me. And there is no pressure – you understand?"

"Yes I do Jess. And thank you – I think I do need to see you and try to explain what happened last night. But I don't know when. I am a bit all over the place this morning."

"You don't owe me an explanation Caroline. Like I said, I do understand. But I do think we should catch up sooner rather than later and talk about things. We did sort of arrange last night for me to clip Harry this afternoon and for you to call by on your way home to pick him up. We could still do that and have a talk then if you think you'd be up to it" suggested Jessica, desperately hoping that Caroline would agree. If nothing else, she did not want too much time to go by before they saw one another again, for fear that Caroline would get lost in her thoughts of the past and begin to forget what had developed between them.

"Ohh Jess, I'd completely forgotten all about that."

"I am not surprised!" Jessica responded, in a tone of voice that she hoped would gently help to ease the tension in both of them.

"Okay then, well I suppose that could still work" agreed Caroline, recognising Jessica's attempt to try and lighten the mood and how it made her feel slightly more positive about the day ahead. "But do you really feel like clipping Harry?" she then queried, realising that it was perhaps not what Jessica would prefer to be doing given the current circumstances.

"Yes, of course I do. It will help keep my mind off things. I will be home just after midday" answered Jessica promptly, knowing that this was probably the best chance she had of getting to see Caroline today, and she did not want to lose it.

"All right then. I'll let Laura know to drop him off and then I will come by on my way home this evening. About six o'clock. Does that suit?"

"Yes. It certainly does. Till then eh?" let out a relieved Jessica.

"Yes Jess. Bye for now. And thank you – once again" answered a slightly brighter Caroline, pleased to know that she would be seeing Jessica later in the day, but also anxious about what she would say and how she would explain the conflict that existed within her.

* * *

It was not long after six o'clock when Jessica saw Caroline's Jeep pull up outside the front of her house. As she continued to watch through her lounge room window, she saw a very tired and sad looking Caroline get out of the car and her heart immediately went out to her.

"Go on Harry, get out there and see if you can cheer things up" she said quietly to the small dog as she opened her front door. Straight away he ran out and over to Caroline, greeting her with his tell-tale welcoming little howl that he let out on such occasions.

Standing at the door, Jessica was relieved when she saw a smile break out on Caroline's face as she bent over and began enthusiastically patting Harry. She was even more relieved when Caroline stood back up and looked over in Jessica's direction with the smile still on her face.

"He looks great Jess."

"And you look absolutely exhausted Caroline. It must have been one helluva day" responded Jessica.

"Try one helluva day and night!" declared Caroline as she began to walk towards Jessica, reaching out her arms in front as she drew closer. Without any hesitation Jessica reached out as well and then drew Caroline in against her, hugging her as gently and firmly as she could.

The women remained like that for several minutes before Jessica stepped back a little, softly saying in Caroline's ear, "How about a coffee or tea or even something stronger?"

"I think something stronger might be what's needed."

"Sounds good to me" said Jessica as she took Caroline's hand and led her into the house.

* * *

A short time later, after some general conversation and a few sips of wine, Caroline and Jessica fell silent as they sat facing one another across the table, both aware that the elephant in the room had to be dealt with.

Deciding that she needed to speak first, Caroline cleared her weary head in readiness to begin the speech that she had rehearsed several times during the day. She had in fact rehearsed two versions of the speech – one where she admitted her true feelings of having fallen in love with Jessica, together with her inability to accept such feelings because it felt like she was abandoning her love of Kate. And the other was where she simply blamed a houseful of memories for pulling her up in her tracks.

With Jessica looking at her expectantly, Caroline knew the time had come for her to say something. So taking a deep breath, she began, not really sure which version of the speech would come out.

"Jess, I am really sorry how I froze up on you last night. You must have wondered why I was like that after everything had been so good between us at your brother's. It's not like I was just out for a good time then, and nothing else. It's not like that at all. It's, err, it's um…"

"The house, the memories, the photos and everything else there last night Caroline." Jessica said quietly, helping Caroline to finish the sentence before continuing on.

"I understand, I really do. Remember how I joked about things the other night at my brother's - the old barn and the funny old bed and stuff? But you know, it was probably the best thing that could have happened to us. It was completely neutral ground with no history attached. We were free spirits there, well almost. And I suppose we just have to give it time to feel like that in places that are not so neutral. Like your house for instance. I recognise it may take some time, but I am prepared to wait and to try if you are."

Upon hearing those words, Caroline felt a wave of relief. Jessica was going to give her some time. Time in which she would concentrate on learning how to accept her love for Jessica without feeling so guilty about Kate. That was the big hurdle for her, and until she knew she could get over it, she did not want to declare her love. It would be so cruel, she thought, to tell Jessica that she loved her, only to let her down if she was unable in the near future to quell the conflict and fully allow Jessica into her heart.

"Yes Jess, I do want to try. Please don't give up on me."

"I have no intention of giving up on you Caroline. None at all."

And with that, the two women reached out and caught each other's hands across the table. They both then smiled and shook their hands lightly, as if to signify the start of a new understanding between them.

* * *

It was nearing seven o'clock on Thursday evening when Caroline turned into the driveway at home and saw Gillian's car. Somewhat surprised that her mother had not mentioned anything about Gillian visiting, she wondered whether anything was wrong.

 _That's all I need!_ Caroline thought to herself, before feeling a bit guilty at her selfishness. She was still struggling with the events of earlier in the week and, after another hectic day at school, she was so looking forward to time with Flora and then some quiet time for herself. She also wanted to phone Jessica. They had only texted one another during the day and she now wanted to hear her voice and just have an easy chat with her. If nothing else, she also wanted some reassurance that Jessica was still there for her, and still prepared to give her the time that she needed.

With the door of her car open, Caroline leaned over to gather some files off the passenger's seat when she heard Gillian's familiar voice call out.

"Hello there. That's good timing. I was just coming over to say hello."

"Hello there you" responded Caroline as brightly as she could summon whilst turning around and seeing Gillian walking towards the car. "This is a surprise. Neither Mum nor your Dad told me you were coming over. Is everything okay?" she queried.

"Yes, everything's fine. Just a piece of farm equipment failed and the only shop that had a replacement part in stock was here in Harrogate. So me and Robbie just jumped in the car and came over and, of course, thought we had better stop by to see the oldies – and you of course!"

"I'm glad you made the distinction just then" piped up Caroline quickly as she smiled back at Gillian. "Have you got time to come in and see Flora?"

"Yes, I certainly have. And I also want to hear your news."

"What do you mean my news?"

"Well!" Gillian began, with a cheeky grin spreading over her face. "Someone's told me that you are seeing someone new, as in seeing a new woman."

"Oh for goodness sake! One minute she doesn't want anyone to know. Next minute she is shouting it from the rooftops!" exclaimed Caroline, somewhat amused at Celia's new found openness but secretly wishing that she kept things a little under wraps for the time-being.

"Well, she's not exactly shouting from the rooftops, but she has told Alan, and Robbie and me and…"

"Oh stop it Gillian!" interjected Caroline as she began to laugh, unable to help herself from seeing the funny side of life that Gillian so often managed to bring into their conversations.

"Well? Are you going to tell me or not?"

"Come on inside. And let me at least dump these files before I bare my soul to you."

* * *

As she sat at the bench and took the glass of wine from Caroline's hand, Gillian noticed that Caroline looked very tired and certainly not as bouncy as she would have expected, especially given the news that Celia had passed on. She had come to know her step-sister very well over the last few years, and she could clearly see that Caroline was now struggling with something.

"Ok Caroline. Spit it out. Who is this woman and what are you worrying about so much? I can see it all over your face. Plus you look like you haven't slept for a week."

Looking up from her glass, Caroline managed to give Gillian a tired smile. The friendship she had with Gillian never ceased to amaze here. Not only had they got off to such a rocky start, they were also so different in so many ways. Despite all that, they had both opened up to each other in the past, telling one another things that they never told anyone else. There was some form of acceptance and understanding between them, and, with that thought in mind, Caroline drew up a stool next to Gillian's and began to tell her about Jessica.

* * *

"So that's where things are at" summarised Caroline. "I feel like I am stuck Gillian. I want to move forward but cannot deal with letting go of the past. I just can't cope with the thought of abandoning or replacing Kate."

After taking a few moments to absorb what Caroline had just told her, Gillian gathered her thoughts and her courage. It was time she decided to give Caroline her assessment of the situation, an assessment that she knew Caroline might not want to hear but which she knew needed to be said.

"I know you reckon I am a bit of an airhead when it comes to relationships Caroline, but can I tell you what I think?"

"Yes, but I think you're going to anyway!" Caroline answered, shooting a half smile of acceptance at Gillian.

"Okay. Well here goes" Gillian began as she turned and looked directly into Caroline's eyes.

"I know Kate meant the world to you Caroline. As you did to her. What you had was very special, it really was. Anyone could see it when they saw you two together. Even I! In fact, it made me jealous sometimes wondering why I could not find something like you two had. But listen Caroline. Kate is gone. She's gone and she is not coming back. And you have many years ahead of you. You don't want to spend them on your own. That is the last thing Kate would have wanted for you. She always wanted you to be happy, and if this woman makes you happy, then you need to run with it Caroline, you really do. And if it doesn't work out, then so be it. But knowing you, I doubt this woman would have got to first base with you unless she wasn't pretty special. So go for it Caroline. You can still remember Kate and treasure the love and the memories that you had with her, but don't let them stop you from living your life. You really mustn't. For your sake and Flora's, and also for Lawrence and William. They all want to see you happy, not moping around lost and alone, trying to hold on to something that does not exist any more. I'm sorry if that sounds a bit harsh Caroline, but I think you need to hear it like that."

As silence descended on the room, Gillian continued to hold Caroline's gaze – a gaze that had become stony and distant - as if she was a million miles away. Concerned that she may have overstepped the mark and said too much, Gillian was wondering what to do next when she saw a gentle smile break out on Caroline's face.

"I can always rely on you to say it as it is, can't I" said Caroline quietly, reaching out and grabbing Gillian's hand.

"Err, yes, you know me" was all Gillian could think to say.

"Yes, I do" replied Caroline as she gave Gillian's hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze. "You know, I have not discussed this with anyone. All I've been doing is churning it around in my head and getting nowhere. But telling you and then hearing your response, well, I don't know for sure but things seem to have cleared in my mind. I feel a lot calmer. Thank you Gillian."

"Any time Caroline. I'll send you my bill in the mail!" came Gillian's response, as she winked at Caroline and squeezed her hand back.

* * *

As soon as she had seen Flora off to bed, Caroline picked up her mobile phone and began calling Jessica. It had not taken her long, after waving good-bye to Gillian and Robbie, to decide upon a course of action. She needed to see Jessica and she needed to have a good, long discussion with her without any interruption from mothers, children or anyone else.

"Hello Jess. Sorry it's a bit late to be calling."

"Oh Caroline – that's okay. I was just about to call you anyway."

"Were you now? That's good to hear. You haven't decided to write me off just yet then?" joked Caroline, hoping to sound a bit brighter and chirpier than she had been in their last couple of meetings.

Despite realising that Caroline was joking, Jessica decided to respond semi-seriously as losing Caroline was not something that she wanted to contemplate or make light of.

"No, not just yet! Like I said Caroline, I'm here for you now and I am not going anywhere."

Sensing the serious note in Jessica's response, Caroline paused for a brief moment before continuing in a friendly but more subdued tone.

"Well, that's good. Because I've been thinking about a few things Jess and I want to talk to you about them. And I want to do it in a peaceful, calm setting where we can both relax and not be interrupted by my Mum or the kids or even Harry for that matter! So I was thinking about taking you out for dinner to a great little restaurant that I know, and I was wondering if this Saturday night suits?"

Whilst slightly concerned about what the "few things" were that Caroline wanted to talk about, Jessica was still inwardly delighted at the thought of seeing Caroline and spending some time with her where it was just the two of them, with neither needing to rush off to work or home or worry about other commitments.

"That sounds lovely. And Saturday is fine. My diary is quite empty you know. It's not as if I've been busy arranging other dates these last two weeks!"

Pleased to hear the return of the cheeky Jessica, Caroline let out a brief chuckle before answering.

"Great, I will pick you up at seven."

* * *

As Jessica closed down her computer and gathered her belongings, she was so relieved it was Friday and that she had a couple of days to think her own thoughts and not worry about her work or patients. It had been a roller coaster of a week that had seen the highs of Saturday night, the lows of Tuesday night and now the expectations of what lay ahead.

She knew she looked forward to tomorrow night and seeing Caroline again. But there was also a nagging thought in the back of her mind about what Caroline wanted to talk about and what the future held for them. Whilst she did not think that Caroline wanted to stop seeing her, she did wonder whether she wanted their relationship to return to a platonic friendship. And if that was the case, would it be forever or until Caroline felt able to deal with more. And would she be able to cope with just having Caroline as a friend and not as a loving partner.

With questions like this spinning around in her head, Jessica closed the door on her consulting room and headed across reception and out of the clinic. It was then, as she walked across the almost empty car park and towards her own car, that she noticed a very new and upmarket Porsche parked a couple of car spaces away from her's. Just as she was thinking, _I've never seen that here before,_ the driver's door of the Porsche opened and a smartly dressed, dark-haired woman stepped out.

Although the woman had her back towards Jessica, there was something familiar about her to Jessica which made her wonder whether it was one of her patients whom she had not seen for a while. But as the woman turned around, Jessica almost collapsed as she saw her face. It was Jane and she was walking straight towards her.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

As Jane came within three or four steps of her, Jessica managed to let out the first of the questions that were racing around in her head.

"What the hell are you doing here Jane?"

"I've come to see you Jess."

"What do you mean you've come to see me? How did you know to find me here? What on earth are you up to, appearing out of nowhere like this?"

"I googled you Jess. You run a business – you are not that hard to find you know. So please calm down Jess. I don't want to upset you."

"No, you did a damn good job of that four years ago" Jessica snapped back.

"Okay, okay, I know. But listen. I'm here Jess because I want to talk to you and explain some things. I don't want to do it standing here in a car park though. Can we go somewhere please? I know you have every right to tell me to eff off, but I think you owe it to yourself to hear what I've got to say."

"Really Jane – just who do you think you are? You come here wanting me to go and have chat with you over a nice cup of tea."

"Don't you want to know why I walked out?" countered Jane.

"I've asked myself why every day since."

"So isn't it time that you found out?" came Jane's quick response.

Stopping in her tracks, Jessica considered what Jane had just said. Yes, it was certainly well overdue that she found out why she had been dumped so unceremoniously. And she did want to know, no matter what the reason was, as it would at least give her something concrete to try and deal with, rather than trying to deal with the unknown.

"All right" Jessica heard herself utter. "Follow me in your car. There is a small bar not far from here. We can talk there."

"Okay Jess. Thanks."

* * *

Having quickly found a car park, Jessica stood at the door of the bar and waited for Jane to join her. As she watched her approach from across the other side of the road, Jessica tried to unravel the emotions that were swirling around within her.

Of course, the surprise of seeing Jane again had almost floored her. She had never expected to cross paths with Jane again, and certainly not in Harrogate. Then there was the anger that had kicked in. The anger that had overcome her all those years ago and which still brewed within her. And finally, there was sadness. Sadness at what the two of them had lost. She had loved Jane, and when Jane had looked at her and asked that they have a talk, Jessica saw again the woman she had loved. The thought had disturbed her, but only fleetingly, as she knew that her love for Jane had died a long time ago. The hurt had been too great, the damage too extensive, and there was no returning from that.

"Shall we go in?" queried Jane who had now reached Jessica and was standing beside her holding the door of the bar open.

Without a word, Jessica walked past her and into the bar, heading for a table in the quieter corner of the premises. Once there, she sat down, expecting Jane to do the same. Instead Jane stood over the table and looked down at her.

"Would you like a drink?" asked Jane. "I am going to have a glass of wine myself."

"Just a soda or mineral water thanks" Jess replied curtly, thinking to herself that she needed to keep her wits about her.

A few minutes later, Jane was back with the drinks. She sat down opposite Jessica at the small table and, after taking quite a large gulp of wine, she looked at Jessica who was staring expectantly back at here. Realising that she could delay things no longer, Jane began her explanation.

"Okay Jess. Firstly, let me say that I am not proud of what I am about to tell you and the reason for why I behaved as I did. In fact, I am ashamed of it, actually horrified when I look back now and try to understand why I thought that leaving you in that way was the only solution to the dilemma that I had found myself in."

Still very agitated, Jessica could not help herself from snapping back. "What dilemma Jane? Had you found someone else? If so, you were damn good at hiding it from me."

"No, there wasn't anyone else. It was my work."

"What do you mean, your work?"

"It was my work, my ambition, my drive to get to the top, coupled with my stupidity, selfishness and complete lack of courage."

"I don't understand what you are trying to tell me here Jane."

"You knew what I was like Jess. When I got the job at Bensons and Co., I was intent on making it to the top there. I wanted to climb up the ranks as quickly as I could, and that meant telling some lies in order that I fitted in with the culture that existed there. So I never came out there Jess, not even after I had been there for a few years. In fact, the longer I was there, the harder it became because the owners of the company were very, very old-school and also very homophobic. It annoyed me at first, but then I just learnt to go along with it. They liked me, they kept promoting me and it didn't impact on us, so why upset the apple cart I thought."

"But that's not what you told me. You said your work knew about me. And I do remember seeing my name on the invitations to some of those work functions that came along from time to time and….."

"And which I never took you to, yes?"

"Well, yes. But that was because I was not that keen on going. Rubbing shoulders with all those legal eagles for hours on end was not my idea of fun, as you well knew."

"Yes, I did know. And that was fine with me. And I never pushed you did I? Because the Jess whom I spoke about at work was a man. They all thought you were a man Jess! I had stupidly let them assume that when I first started work there and I never corrected them. Never once did it occur to any of them that Jess was short for Jessica, and I never had the courage to tell them any different."

"Christ Jane. Talk about being in the closet! I can't believe you didn't say something – it's 2014 after all. Not the dim, dark ages! But regardless of all that, I don't quite see what this has to do with you getting up and leaving me like you did."

"Well, it all came to a crunch, didn't it? I was offered a big promotion – to become a partner and to run their London office. But as part of the whole deal, the other partners wanted to meet you and welcome you into the "Family" so to speak. I know it's pathetic Jess, but I had worked myself into a corner and something had to give. I could not face the embarrassment nor their anger and rejection if I told them the real story. And I also wanted the promotion. So the only thing I could think to do was to leave you. It was my easy and selfish way out. I told them we had broken up and I was now a single woman ready to put my all into the new position. Which finally was the truth, and which they had no issue in accepting. I think it was a positive for them. I suppose they thought I would be able to concentrate on work and not be distracted by any relationship pressures or issues."

"And you never thought to tell me about what was going on? And give us a chance to work something out?" exclaimed Jessica, with her exasperation at what she was hearing rising by the second.

"Well, I did consider it but every option that involved staying with you seemed too risky to me. I knew they would find out if we stayed together. And I was just too gutless to consider telling them the truth, despite the discrimination laws being as they are these days. The promotion would have been put on hold, and my whole career would have probably stalled."

Unable to think of a response to what she had just heard, Jessica turned her head to the side and tried to fight back the tears. Finally, after a few minutes of tense silence, she turned back to Jane and quietly said "Wow, dumped for a job! That's a first I would think."

"Yes, it probably is. But it is something I will never forgive myself for. I'm sorry Jess, I truly am. I look back now and wonder how on earth I came to that decision."

"Well you did. And it is almost ancient history now" responded Jessica more loudly as she felt the hurt and anger rising again within her. "So why have you come and found me to tell me this. What's changed Jane? Do you just want to try and clear your conscience, or what?"

"No, nothing like that Jess, it will always be on my conscience. But I have come to my senses. I left Bensons about eighteen months ago. I've set up my own business back in Manchester and now, I call the shots. No more sneaking around. I am back to being the woman you fell in love with all those years ago Jess, and that woman wants you back. She wants you back with all her heart and soul."

"Whoa, you can't be serious Jane!"

"I am deadly serious. I never stopped thinking about you, about us and about how foolish I was to turn my back on you. We were so good together and I know we can be again. I so want to make it up to you Jess, I really do."

"And what about what I think Jane? Do you think I would want you back after what has happened? And how do you know I am not with someone else anyway? Do you expect me to dump her just like you dumped me?"

"Well, you're not with anyone are you? I caught up with Robyn and Michelle a few weeks ago. They mentioned that they had recently seen you and that you were not with anyone."

"Oh, they did did they! Be nice if "our" old friends minded their own business. And for your information, I am seeing someone."

"It must be very new then?"

"That's enough Jane. It is none of your business whether I am or am not with anyone."

"All right, I understand, and I am sorry for pushing my nose into things. But I am deadly serious about us Jess. Will you consider getting back together with me – please? I promise it won't be like last time. I am over climbing the corporate ladder. I've done that and am now in a position where I don't have to do the long hours. And we could live very well, you know, nice home, car, holidays, good food and all that sort of thing. And you are the person I want to share that with. You are Jess, really. I know that more than anything else I have ever known in my life."

"Jane, I don't …"

"No Jess, please don't give me an answer now. I am here in Harrogate until Sunday and will drive back to Manchester then. Will you please take some time to consider what I have just told you and what I have asked you? And can we then meet up again on Sunday morning for you to give me your answer. I promise I will accept what you say then, but not now. At the moment, you are shocked and angry and confused and trying to take everything in. That is only natural, but it prevents you from thinking with a clear mind. So please Jess, I know I have no right to do this, but I beg you to go away and think about things, about us, about what we had and what we could have in the future. And then come and give me your answer on Sunday."

"It's not going to make any difference Jane."

"Perhaps not. But we had seven wonderful years together Jess. I think we both owe it to ourselves to think it over for another few hours before making a final decision."

Looking down into her untouched drink, Jessica considered Jane's proposal for a few seconds more. She was sure another day would make no difference to how she felt and what she wanted to do, but she figured that she could do with some time to regroup and regain her strength and composure. Slowly lifting her head, she looked directly at Jane before quietly responding.

"I really don't know why I am doing this Jane but okay, I will do as you ask. When and where will we meet on Sunday?"

* * *

When Jessica arrived home a short time later, she went straight to her bedroom and collapsed on the bed, overcome with emotion. Seeing Jane again had upset her more than she had ever anticipated. And whilst she now had an explanation for why Jane had left, it had only left her feeling quite worthless and unwanted.

She was also still aghast about Jane wanting them to get back together again. Despite agreeing to the follow-up meeting, Jessica knew damn well that her answer would still be No. She no longer felt anything for Jane, especially now that she had found Caroline. And even if things did not progress with Caroline, Jessica still knew that there was no going back to Jane. It was over, well and truly over.

With thoughts of Caroline returning to her head, she realised how much she wanted to call her and tell her what had happened. Caroline was now her soul mate, but she hesitated calling, knowing that the news of Jane would only put more pressure on Caroline at a time when she had her own history to deal with. She knew however that she would tell her one day, but just when depended on what Caroline had to say tomorrow night.

 _What a weekend!_ Jessica thought to herself, just as she heard the mobile in her bag beginning to ring. Picking it up, her heart missed a beat as she saw that it was Caroline.

"Hello there" she answered, trying to sound as upbeat as possible.

"Hi Jess. I am just about to take Flora to bed but thought I'd ring and say a quick hello. Thank goodness it is Friday eh? I am looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. I've got everything organised at this end. Mum is babysitting Flora at her place and Lawrence is with his Dad for the weekend. So you still okay for me to pick you up at seven?"

"Er yes, yes, of course I am Caroline. And I am looking forward to it as well."

"You all right Jess? You sound a little distracted."

"Do I? Sorry. I have not been home long. It was just one of those days but nothing that a glass of wine won't fix."

"I hope so. But is it okay if you tell me all about it tomorrow? It looks like Flora is about to lose it here so I had better go and get her organised. Or I can call you back later if you like."

"No, that's fine Caroline, really. Let's keep it all for tomorrow. I think I'll have an early night anyway."

"All right then Jess. See you soon eh."

"Yes, you will. Good night for now Caroline. I miss you, you know."

"And I miss you too", came Caroline's tender response, a response which filled Jessica with hope as well as strength to fight the negative thoughts that her encounter with Jane had left her with. Shutting her eyes, she curled up into a ball under the duvet and willed herself to sleep, replaying what Caroline had just said over and over in her mind.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10**

As Caroline pulled up outside Jessica's house, she felt a sense of relief as she caught sight of Jessica coming out of the front door. They had not seen one another since Wednesday evening, and whilst there had been several phone calls and text messages over the last three days, Caroline had realised with each passing day how much she missed Jessica's company. She made her feel whole again - whole in body, mind and spirit – and that feeling reinforced what she was planning to say tonight. She knew it was the right decision. She was ready to love again and she only hoped that Jessica was feeling the same. She thought she was, but Tuesday night's rejection had no doubt had its impact. As scary as it seemed, Caroline knew it was now time for both of them to reveal their true feelings for each other. She did however not want to start the evening in heavy discussion, and so as Jessica approached the car, she leaned over and opened the passenger door, calling out happily:

"You need a lift lady?"

"Yes I do thanks love! I'll go where ever you're going" responded a grinning Jessica, happily taking up the role play that Caroline had thrown her way.

"Oooh, that's very brave of you!" exclaimed Caroline, grinning at Jessica and gesturing for her to get into the car.

"Well, that may be so. But what about you?" queried Jessica cheekily as she settled down into the passenger seat. "Do you often drive around offering lifts to women you see at the side of the road?"

"Only the good looking ones!" quipped back Caroline as she began to laugh, feeling both pleased and reassured to be having a light-hearted interaction with Jessica again.

"Well, I'll take that as a complement!" replied Jessica, breaking into laughter as well. She too felt equally relieved that they were joking and chatting casually with each other, and she only hoped that they would be doing the same at the end of the evening.

Having decided that their little role play had gone on long enough, Caroline smiled at Jessica and warmly asked "So how are you? You sounded very weary last night. I hope you are up to going out tonight?"

"Yes, of course I am Caroline. I'm raring to go, especially with you leading the way. So where are you taking me?"

"Just a little place that I keep to myself. And it is my shout tonight – you hear?"

"Yes I do. And I don't think it would do me any good to argue would it?"

"No, none at all. Anyway, I'm only getting even with you. I didn't give you any money the other day for clipping Harry."

"But I enjoyed doing that!" remonstrated Jessica.

"Well, I am hoping I will enjoy tonight!" responded Caroline happily as she flashed her beautiful blue eyes in Jessica's direction before returning them to the road ahead and the short drive to their destination.

* * *

Upon being seated at the restaurant, the two women sat back in the comfy chairs and began to relax. They were both very happy to be in one another's company again, and, after ordering their meals, they fell into easy chatter with neither of them wanting to touch on more serious subjects at the start of the evening. It was only after the main meal and a break in their general conversation that Jessica decided she could wait no longer. She needed to know where Caroline was heading and leaning forward, she placed her hand on Caroline's arm and quietly said "This is lovely Caroline. I feel quite special. Special to be here and, more importantly, to be here with you. Is that something I can continue to look forward to into the future?"

Without saying anything, Caroline placed her hand on top of Jessica's and squeezed it gently. She then took a deep breath and glanced down into her lap before returning to look directly at Jessica, a gesture which made Jessica worry about what Caroline was preparing herself to say.

"Jess, I have never been very good at explaining my feelings – something that I came to realise with Kate and which I tried to improve upon. Now I am still not that good, but over the last few days, I have thought a lot about us and what the future may hold for us. And that is why I wanted some quiet, uninterrupted time with you, to tell you what I have been thinking and what I am feeling, especially after what happened the other night."

Fearing that Caroline was about to tell her that their relationship needed to end, Jessica could only manage a nod of the head as some form of indication for Caroline to continue to speak.

"The other night Jess, Tuesday – I stopped because I suddenly realised how much you meant to me. And that realisation upset me because it felt like I was abandoning Kate, especially when I saw her picture staring back at me. I knew I enjoyed being with you Jess and the night at your brother's – well, that was wonderful. But I had not allowed myself to think beyond the there and then, and I certainly hadn't been tuned into how I was really feeling, deep inside. But that changed on Tuesday. For whatever reason, it all became clear to me. I am falling in love with you Jess, and that scared me as well as made me withdraw. It felt like I was being unfaithful to Kate because I never thought I would feel like that again, never."

Noticing that Caroline had paused as if to catch her breath, Jessica also took the few seconds to replay in her head what Caroline had just said. _Falling in love – so does that mean she sees a future for us?_ With her hopes lifting, Jessica struggled to keep her emotions under control. She wanted to say something similar back to Caroline and was about to do so when she realised that Caroline was continuing.

"Jess, when we spoke of all this the other night at your place, I know you agreed to give me some time, some time for me to deal with my memories and just readjusting to things. But inside, I knew my big challenge was adjusting to falling in love with you. I didn't think I could handle it, you know, the guilt about Kate, of replacing her. But something happened the following day – a bit of a revelation in fact. And it was due to Gillian, my crazy step-sister whom I have told you about, remember?"

"Yes, isn't she the one you once called 'braindead lowlife trailer trash'?"

Letting out a brief chuckle, Caroline nodded in agreement. "Yes, that's the one. And I am the 'snotty bitch'. But anyway, for some reason we get on, and we tell each other things. And I told her about us and what happened this week."

"You did?"

"Yes, I did and it was the best thing I could have done. She set me straight, so to speak, and made me realise I need to live for the living, for the future, and for myself. Which brings me back to us Jess."

"Us Caroline? I hope you know that I do want there to be an 'us'," Jessica said quietly, unable to stop herself from contributing a little about how she was feeling.

"Well, yes, I was hoping and thinking that you do. And I do too, very much so. It just worries me that there is a lot on my side of things for you to take on. There's Flora and Lawrence and William, not to mention my ex-husband whom you haven't even encountered yet. And whilst my mother seems to be behaving at the moment, who knows what she might do next. And then of course, there is…"

"Oh stop it Caroline. That's your family and that's all part of who you are. I know that and it doesn't affect how I feel about you. I am in love with you Caroline, and I want to be part of your life – lock, stock and barrel."

On hearing Jessica say those words, Caroline fell silent. All she could do was stare back at Jessica and try to control the tears that were beginning to fall down her cheeks. She then realised that tears were already flowing from Jessica's eyes, and almost as one, both women reached out and caught each other's hands across the table. They remained like that for several minutes, with hands clenched and with smiling but teary eyes locked on one another.

"I think I need a tissue" Caroline finally said with a gentle chuckle.

"So do I" responded Jessica, squeezing Caroline's hand before releasing them so that they could both take action to dry their faces.

A short time later, having recovered her composure, Caroline leaned across the table and looked lovingly into Jessica's eyes. Whilst she could see that Jessica looked far happier and relaxed than a few minutes previously, she could still see a hint of anguish on her face.

"What is it Jess?" she asked quietly. "You look as though something is still worrying you."

"Well yes, I need to tell you something Caroline. It does not make any difference to what we have just been talking about. It really doesn't. But I need to tell you as I don't want to have any secrets with you."

Raising her eyebrows, Caroline maintained eye contact with Jessica and then simply said "Go on then. I am all ears."

Taking a deep breath, Jessica launched into the events of Friday evening.

"Jane appeared out of nowhere yesterday. She was waiting for me in her flashy car in the clinic car park. I nearly collapsed when I realised it was her."

"Jane? You mean Jane, your ex?" queried an incredulous Caroline.

"Yes I do mean her. The one and only" answered Jessica as she began to tell Caroline all the details of the meeting and how it had ended. Whilst Jessica talked, Caroline said nothing, deciding to quietly take in what Jessica was telling her. In doing so, she could clearly see the extent to which Jane's re-appearance had upset Jessica, and although she was somewhat concerned to hear that Jane wanted to get back together with Jessica, she could also see from Jessica's reaction and how she spoke of Jane that it was not something that Jessica had any intention of considering.

"So that's where we left it" concluded Jessica. "I agreed to meet her tomorrow morning, but the answer will still be no. I just want to get it over and done with, now that I have recovered from the initial shock. And I'm sorry Caroline to bother you with all this, but I knew I couldn't not tell you."

"It's all right Jess, really" responded Caroline finally breaking her silence. "But why didn't you tell me this when I rang you last night. I knew there was something bothering you."

"Well I just figured you had enough on your plate to be thinking about and I did not want to bother you with my baggage. And I was worried it could scare you away or influence your decision about us."

"Well," Caroline said quietly, "we are a right pair, aren't we? Are you okay?"

"Yes Caroline, I am. I'm very okay now. It's been a big week for both of us but I think we've found our way through it all, don't you?"

"Yes, I think we have" agreed Caroline, reaching out for Jessica's hand. "And you know what?" she continued. "I just want to leave now and take you home to my place."

"Your place? Are you sure?"

"Yes, my place. And this is what we are going to do. You are going to stay the night with me and then in the morning, we will sort out how you get to your meeting with Jane. Is that all right with you?"

Pleased to see the authoritative Caroline come to the fore and take control of the situation, Jessica laughed and simply said "I love seeing you like this Caroline. You are magnificent!"

"Am I?" responded Caroline, unable to stop the grin on her face, or the feeling of surprise within her. She always remembered Kate saying that to her, but she felt at ease with the fact that Jessica had just said the same. It made her realise that she had indeed turned a corner, and that she was now ready, in fact very ready, to see where this new path with Jessica took her.

* * *

When Jessica woke the following morning, it was to the sound of a gentle tapping and a young child's voice calling out 'Mummy'. Gathering her senses and realising where she was, she smiled inwardly to herself and then reached out to the lovely, naked figure lying beside her.

"Caroline" she said quietly, as she placed a gentle kiss on Caroline's forehead.

"Mmm, good morning Jess" came back Caroline's sleepy response as she stirred slightly and outstretched an arm for Jessica to cuddle into.

"Caroline, I'd love to just snuggle down with you but I think Flora is at the bedroom door wanting to come in."

Opening her eyes, Caroline turned her head to check the time and then, as she looked back at Jessica with an amused grin on her face, she pulled herself up out of the bed and quickly headed for the bathroom calling out loudly "Hello darling. Mummy's here and I will be there in a minute. Just hold on."

Reappearing form the bathroom within a few seconds and with a dressing gown hastily pulled around, Caroline returned to the bed where she leant over and planted a tender, lingering kiss on Jessica's lips. Then, as she reluctantly pulled away, she quietly explained what she was doing.

"As much as I would love to continue Miss Dalton, it seems I am needed elsewhere. It's nearly nine and Mum must have brought Flora back from her place after baby-sitting her last night. We'll have Mum knocking on the door next if I don't do something! She's probably down there in the kitchen waiting for me. I'll just pop down and see her and then come back with Flora. Is that okay?"

"Of course" responded Jessica with a chuckle. "And whilst you're gone, I'll make myself respectable for Flora."

"I am sure she'll be thrilled to see you just as you are! But there is a spare dressing gown in the wardrobe if you need."

* * *

With Caroline gone, Jessica stretched back out on the bed and took in her surroundings. She could not believe how much things had changed in the last twenty four hours. Yesterday, she had been so fearful that Caroline was going to pull back from her, but such fears had been well and truly quelled, firstly by what Caroline had said over dinner, and secondly by the intense, physical love that they had shared together overnight.

It had happened so naturally, as soon as they had arrived back at Caroline's from the restaurant. There had been little discussion as Caroline had lead Jessica to her bedroom. Once there, they stood and faced one another, taking each other in before moving closer and beginning to kiss, gently at first and then more intensely as the pent up passion within them sought release. It was not long before they had collapsed together on the bed, shedding items of clothing in the process. What followed were several hours of beautiful love-making, with both women totally absorbed in each other and uninhibited by thoughts of previous lives and loves.

Thinking back now over the evening, Jessica could not help but also think of Jane and the decision she had made. She knew on Friday that going back with Jane would not work, and last night with Caroline had only confirmed that a thousand times over. With such thoughts in her mind, Jessica reluctantly remembered the meeting with Jane that she was meant to be attending later that morning. _I am not going to go_ , she thought to herself before suddenly hearing the door open and Flora's happy little voice calling out.

"Jessie!"

Sitting up, she looked over to the doorway where Flora was standing, closely followed by a smiling Caroline who was holding a mug of tea in each hand.

As Flora ran over and jumped up onto the bed, Jessica reached out her arms and hugged the little girl against her.

"Hello Flora. And how are you today? Did you have a nice stay-over at Grandma's last night?"

"Yes. Grandma just gone back" answered Flora happily.

"Yes, she has just gone back to her house" added Caroline, winking at Jessica as she sat on the side of the bed and handed Jessica her mug of tea. "But it's all good. I told her you were here and, well, she was fine. No snide remarks, no shocked looks, no nothing. She just went off back to her place saying she will catch up with me later today. And she also asked me to say hello to you for her."

"Really! Well, that's good to hear. Sounds like that little chat you had with her worked."

"Mmm, yes, it does thank goodness" said Caroline thoughtfully, before continuing in a more decisive tone. "But speaking of chats, you have a meeting to go to, remember? And I've been thinking. I will drive you home so you can pick up your car and then Flora and I will go on to the park. How about you come and meet us there afterwards?"

"Well, I've been thinking too and I have decided I am not going to go. She will get the message that my answer is no, and it saves me from having to see her again."

"I don't think that is a good idea Jess. Whilst I really don't want you to go, I think you need to, for yourself, so that you can be the decision-maker this time, and the one calling an end to it all. If you don't go and tell her it's over, there is always going to be some form of question mark hanging over things. You need to go Jess. You need to tell her, and I think it will help you to do so."

Taking a moment to digest what Caroline had just said, Jessica fell silent and gazed back at Caroline. She then leant forward and kissed Caroline on the lips before quietly saying "Okay. I hear what you say and I think you are right. I will go. And thank you Caroline for caring. It's just one of the many reasons why I love you. "

* * *

As she looked at her watch, Caroline could not help but feel a pang of anxiety. It was well over an hour since she had dropped Jessica off at her home and there was still no sign of her. Deciding it would do no good to keep looking for Jessica's white Audi to appear, Caroline turned back to watching Flora who was happily running around in the park's playground.

Wondering whether she may have missed a call or text from Jessica, Caroline started hunting in her bag for the mobile when she heard Flora call out Jessica's name. Immediately turning around, her heart lifted to see Jessica striding towards them, a picnic basket in one hand and a rug in the other. She was heading straight for them, and as she reached Caroline, she put the basket and rug down and placed both arms around Caroline, pulling her in against her as tightly as she could.

With a smile spreading across her whole face, Caroline hugged Jessica back before quietly saying "What took you so long? I was beginning to worry."

"No need to worry my love. I did what I needed to do and ended it all with Jane. I watched her drive off back to Manchester and felt a weight lift from my shoulders, just like you predicted. It was such a relief and I immediately decided that we needed to enjoy this beautiful day. So I went off running around and pulled together a picnic lunch for us all. I even managed to pick up a lovely bottle of champagne. We need to celebrate Caroline, celebrate us! But I'm sorry to have caused you some concern. I should have rung but wanted to surprise you and …."

"Enough, enough!" laughed Caroline as she lifted her head and kissed Jessica on the lips. "You're here, we're here and everything's fine. In fact, it's wonderful. Now let's see what you've got in that basket. I'm starving!"

* * *

 _ **A/N: And that, dear readers, is where I will leave these two. I hope you have found some enjoyment in the storyline. I always intended it to have a happy ending, especially after the tragedy and sadness of S3. Thanks again for all your reviews and feedback. They spurred me on to keep writing and I really appreciated them all. Cheers for now.**_


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